ac Page 1226 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....
At Least He Didn't Biggie Size
So there are some new details about our new favorite assistant coach, the Lions' Joe Cullen, concerning his arrest for driving in the nude....
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
NFL Season Previews: Jacksonville Jaguars
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...
"This Is The Parts Where They Say Who They Thinks Gonna Win"
In his nightmares, this is what Chris Fowler imagines every viewer of College GameDay is like....
NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....
NFL Season Preview: Arizona Cardinals
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
Gentlemen, Start Your Loos
So you've heeded our advice and contacted the folks at Donkey Sports Inc., for some sweet donkey basketball action. Congratulations. But to your horror, you've discovered that they are out of donkeys! What now? Well, we've heard your girlish shrieks, and have come to the rescue. It's time for Plan...
NFL Season Preview: Green Bay Packers
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....
Nebraska Is Looking At The World Through Fly's Eyes
If you've ever been around a light source in the middle of an expanded Midwestern landscape of soybeans and chubby cows, you know you've got to be wary of Them Bugs. Them Bugs will attack you in intense droves, and they will do so without warning. A bug zapper will help, but just a little: There's n...
We're Destroying The New Place Already
It's a new beginning for our beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, with a brand new attitude, brand new Paris Hilton-humping quarterback and, of course, brand new stadium. The Pink Taco Cardinals Stadium hosts its first official game a week from Sunday, but they're already holding events th...
Rik Smits And His Tiny Bikes
We have had many thoughts about former Pacers center Rik Smits in our lives — Really. We have. — mostly involving his unique ability to look like the answer to the question: What would happen if aliens could grow mustaches?...
New Buzzsaw Stadium Could Be Named After Female Genitalia
You might know that the Buzzsaw's new STATE OF THE ART football stadium currently is called "Cardinals Stadium," which, considering its lack of proper monetary compensation, is not a name that's likely to stick any longer than Bill Bidwell can cash a check....
Everyone Else Is Really Just Wasting Their Time
I really don't know what to tell you here. It's Tiger Woods, it's Sunday, it's a major tournament, and it's over after the front 9. In fact, it was probably over before he teed off. The man has just been incredible....
A Warning To The Women Of San Antonio
This comes our way from Media Take Out, and there's probably no real reason to believe that it's true, but it's a hell of a story nonetheless. A woman claims that she met former New York Knick and current San Antonio Spur Jackie Butler at the 40/40 Club in New York a few months ago....
Luke Donald's Going To Need A Huge Pair Of Balls
I'm going to try to not make this post entirely about Tiger Woods, as tomorrow's golf post will probably be entirely about Tiger Woods. But yeah, Tiger Woods is tied with Luke Donald for the lead of the PGA Championship after 54 holes. Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods....