ac Page 1227 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Urine Taints Marion Jones' EPO Sample
The Washington Post is reporting that Marion Jones failed a drug test at the U.S. nationals earlier this year. The test turned up a little erythropoietin, or EPO, as the cool kids call it. If her 'B' sample turns up the same thing, she's looking at a two-year ban. I'll give you a few minutes to reco...
Google Video, Jose Canseco And You
We're not sure how we'd react if attacked by a leopard; probably curl up like an armadillo and roll toward the nearest large body of water. But we would hope that it would be a manly, dignified roll. We wouldn't want to go out squealing like a Girl Scout, as you can hear in this video. The reason we...
Ron Artest Talks With Kids: Can World Peace Be Far Behind?
From the looks of things, it's only a matter of time before Ron Artest is asked to appear on Sesame Street. We're a wee bit late on this, but fortunately TrueHoop was paying close attention to Artest's first day of mandatory community service yesterday, which was part of his punishment for the 2004 ...
Favre Might Retire Today, Maybe, Probably Not
About 45 minutes ago, Pro Football Talk posted a doozy of a story (or rumor collection, as it were): Packers quarterback Brett Favre has called a press conference for 12:30 this afternoon in order to announce his retirement. Ah-ha! Got your attention with that one, didn't we? No? Well, OK, fine, so ...
Raccoons On Reign Of Terror
Most any parent with an older teenaged child knows the drill. First comes that phone call at midnight from a downtown police precinct, notifying you that there has been a mishap with your car. Then comes the question: How did our son/daughter get the keys? Now the Tennessee Titans front office can r...
New Home For The Buzzsaw Debuts
It has always been insane that the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, an NFL team, for crying out loud, has spent the last 16 years playing in a college team's stadium. Only the Buzzsaw would rent out a subpar Pac-10 team's field....
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact I Do Own The Damn Road
What if one encountered Martin Luther King Jr., on Martin Luther King Jr. Parkway? What if you were driving through Lincoln Tunnel, and Lincoln showed up? Would you move over and let him pass? After all, it's his tunnel ... the darned thing was named after him. (Might get tedious waiting for that ho...
Minor Enterprise: A Mighty Wind
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're dressed as a large mascot beaver and are hopelessly stuck in the suit, contact us at ti...
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and ...
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlantic Coast Conference
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...
Boeheim Must Have Had Some Hand In This
We don't mean to imply that the Syracuse football team might not be so good this year, but they have a wide receiver who is five-foot-four. We think our family dog is taller than that....
Americans Continue To Lead The World In Mysteriously Tainted Urine
The world's fastest man, Justin Gatlin, has failed a pee-pee test, and, stop me if you've heard this before, claims he didn't do anything wrong. Both his 'A' and 'B' samples came up positive for unusually high amounts of synthetic testosterone....
As If Barbaro (And The Rest Of Us) Haven't Suffered Enough
In New York City today, it is sunny, pleasant, warm, slightly overcast but mostly cheerful. We've got some good music on the stereo, a cool icy beverage at our desk and, overall, we're feeling all right about the planet and our place in it....
AJ Hawk Is A Moral Man
As a followup to our AJ Hawk/Laura Quinn/shotgun wedding post from yesterday, we look to the Dayton Daily News, which gives us the full report on why AJ Hawk, rather than go through with the planned wedding in March, got married in his lawyer's office while wearing his Under Armour gear. (Seriousl...
A.J Hawk's Shotgunnish Wedding?
If you were trying to book a wedding next March in Columbus, Ohio, over the last few months — not that anybody we know might have been — one of the primo spots in town was booked for a huge, lavish wedding between former Ohio State Buckeyes and current Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk and La...
Contagious Headbutting Sickness Strikes Again
Hey kids, time to drag out those scissors and the colored construction paper once again, because there's a horse in trouble. No, not Barbaro; he's relaxing in Pennsylvania watching premium cable. This time it's City Affair, a race horse in Britain which was — get this — headbutted by jockey Paul O...
On Your Marks ... Get Set ... Shuffle!
On Friday, we told you about Extreme Day, a horse racing promotional event that featured skateboarding, clockwise (backwards) racing and, our favorite, jockey races. (Complete with gates!)...