ac Page 1229 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small Cars Going In Circles, Because Peyton Manning Said They Could
The Indianapolis 500 is underway, and if the fact that I haven't mentioned until over an hour after it started seems to give an indication of my interest level in the race ... it probably does....

Rampage Jackson Will Knock You Out And Hump Your Leg
(UPDATE: That video is dead... but you can see it here. You should probably hurry.)...

Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...

They Grow Up So Fast These Days
Meet Malcolm Sheppard, defensive tackle for the Arkansas Razorbacks. According to Loser with Socks, that's Malcolm one year ago, and Malcolm today....

We Still Can't Find The Name Kaka In the Bible
Would it surprise you to learn that right now we are wearing the exact same shirt as our friend, Kaka, above? In addition to the gift of spiritual peace and salvation, we will be quickly returned to Jesus if we are ever lost or stolen. So we have that going for us....

The Real Tragedy Is That My Cell Phone Was In There
Well, if your golf cart has to plunge off of a gigantic cliff with you in it, we suppose it might as well be in Fallbrook, Calif....

Tyler Clippard, Dane Cook Fan
Yankees fans rejoiced — well, maybe rejoiced was the wrong word — when rookie Tyler Clippard avoided a sweep at the hands of the Mets on Sunday night. And, as Newsday pointed out yesterday, it brought all kinds of new friends to Clippard's MySpace page. So we're happy to send a few more over....

Italy Is Gaining On Us? Inconceivable!
One thing we know about yacht racing: When you change your dock-out song and still lose, it was not meant to be. For the first time in 24 years, there will be no U.S. team in the Louis Vuitton Cup final. Luna Rossa of Italy beat the Americans to clinch the best-of-nine semifinals, 5-1. Yes, we have ...

AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. New York Yankees @ New York Mets. Tyler Clippard, to the rescue. • 8:00, FX. Movie. Dodgeball. I was never a huge fan of this one. I just kinda wanted to punch that pirate guy. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Office Space. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the ...

Hockey Is Not NBC's Top Priority
It's nice that the NHL has a deal with NBC. It would be even nicer if NBC didn't remind hockey fans just how insignificant their little Canadian game is at every single opportunity....

Mr. Gourcuff Is A Team Player
It's been kind of a slow day (other than the hockey, which has been awesome ... so I'm told), so why not end things with a picture of a French guy who looks like he's about to go down on his AC Milan teammate. The official caption:...

Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...

Who Will Win the 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Interleague Play Is Back, If Anybody Notices Anymore
We've never had a major problem with interleague play. It's possible this is because our Cardinals get to play the Royals six times a year — and boy could we use the help — but mostly, it's because the game has been so twisted and pretzeled over the last decade that, hey, what's one more switch? Peo...

That's Not How Personal Training Typically Works
The Arena Football League is full of happy success stories. Kurt Warner. That weird video game that's oddly fun to play. Jon Bon Jovi. And now, to add to the list, the high school coaching adventures of Tom Porras, a former AFL quarterback. He was fired last week as track coach (and "personal traine...

Hey Everyone! Let's Go Sailing!
America's Cup season is here, so why aren't youngsters crowding the docks for autographs and affixing posters of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison on their walls? We have no idea. Jut take a look at Tuesday's Louis Vuitton Cup semifinal series action from Spain:...

Big Unit Is Back In Stock! (Please Allow 14 Business Days For Shipping)
Notes from a day in baseball:...

My Other Car Is A Recliner
We hate to spoil everyone's fun, but with fuel prices at unprecedented levels, do we really need motorized furniture? It seems very imprudent. This guy here broke the furniture land speed record recently by pushing his sofa to 92 mph ("The upholstery will ne're hold, capt'n!"), but what bothers us m...

There Are Now No Gay Lacrosse Coaches (That We Know Of)
Kyle Hawkins coached the Unversity of Missouri men's lacrosse team for nine seasons, but only this past season was it known that he is gay. And now — surprise! — he's been fired....