ac Page 1239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nothing More Enraging Than A Buzzsaw Loss
You know, we have to admit, if we were a fan of the St. Louis Rams, or, say, a former USC star who isn't even strong enough right now to make the active roster of the St. Louis Rams, after losing convincingly to the Buzzsaw yesterday, well, we might want to stab someone in the face too....
Watch Your Beer Around Carl Lewis
The first time we ever remember hearing about steroids, as far as we can recollect, was Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, a guilty finding made all the more hilarious because he's Canadian. (Kind of.) Well, over the weekend, Johnson revealed that he has finally, 18 years later, figured out who famously...
Thank God For Crack
I bet you saw that headline and thought this post was about Michael Irvin, didn't you? But it's not. It's a story about an alligator and a crackead, and just in case things don't go the Gators' way later on today, I'd like to present you this story, where the gator did win. At least for a little whi...
Scoop Jackson And (Someone Else's) Orange Roundie
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that, oh, Mike Lupica wrote a story for Esquire in which he discussed a concept he had discovered "on the Internet" called "The Ewing Theory." He then wrote a whole 4,000-word piece in which he borrowed heavily from the "Internet concept," but never actually men...
Pac Man Gets His Ride Back
You might remember, about a month ago, when the car belong to Titans defensive back Pac Man Jones went up for a police auction. We wondered then who, in fact, might want a car with the official Pac Man logo stitched into the headrest....
NBA Roundup: Much Ado About Headwear
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Time For The Big Ten To Lose Again
Well, you know the college basketball season is officially upon us with the ritualistic beatdown of the Big Ten at the hands of the ACC starts showing up on ESPN. With the precursor of N.C. State trouncing previously undefeated Michigan already pushing the ACC into a 1-0 lead last night, the ACC is ...
Jake Plummer Has No Qualms About Doing This Again
Everybody has a cross to bear. Some of us were always picked last in kickball and still harbor resentment about it. Some of us have a lifelong fear of spiders, or horses, or, say, snakes. Some of us become never-nudes. We all have to overcome something....
The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...
Your Last Night Of MNF Brett Favre Backrubbing
Of all the tired Brett Favre storylines out there, our least favorite is the "He's playing against Mike Holmgren again!" theme. Yes, yes, they won a Super Bowl together; we're not sure this makes this all that necessarily compelling. Besides, that would require remembering a time when Brett Favre we...
Brandon Jacobs Is Not Impressed With The Titans
We admire Giants touchdown sponge Brandon Jacobs, not only because he went to Southern Illinois, but because he's making every person we know who drafted Tiki Barber in fantasy football want to kill themselves. (Barber still has one touchdown this year.) We admire him because he's a rookie second-...
Tracy McGrady Is More Stylish Than His Friends
We'd like to thank We Are The Postmen for directing us in the general direction of this set of pictures from Rockets star Tracy McGrady's wedding, which took place in Las Cabos, Mexico. McGrady, when not shirtless in the pictures, looks pretty sharp, but it's his wife Clarinda who steals the show, a...
Scott Skiles Insists That Sweat Drip Unimpeded Into Your Eyes
Chicago Bulls head coach Scott Skiles, taking a page out of David Stern's playbook, bans players from wearing headbands during games. Ben Wallace, Chicago's prize free agent acquisition, likes to wear a headband during games. Last night, the heated and emotional issue came to a head....
The Familiar Story Of The Oppressed Crocheting Running Back With The Collapsed Lung
In a November 11th game against San Jose State, Boise State running back Ian Johnson suffered a collapsed lung and cracked ribs. And just in case the young man's spirits weren't low enough, the NCAA decided to stop in and take away his main source of income, which happens to be crocheting hats and s...
Today's Episode Of "The Buzzsaw Has No Idea What It's Doing"
Various reports have claimed that Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green will be fired by the team at the end of the season, a move that at this point seems so wholly obvious that it's kind of strange they're waiting until the end of the year. Hey, why wait, ya know? He's already p...
Your Barbaro Holiday Gift Giving Guide
As the holidays draw ever closer, it's time for us to address the serious issues; such as what should we get Barbaro for Christmas? You really should start shopping now to beat the rush. Perhaps Barbaro would like to learn a foreign language, so that he can enjoy all of his fan letters from Mexico...
Devoted To The Packers' Backup QB
We found it amusing that, with everyone all concerned about Brett Favre's injury last week, it turned out that he was fine ... but backup Aaron Rodgers ended up out for the season. Has to be frustrating; you're stuck behind Favre, and once you finally get in, you hurt yourself....
Giants Look Anything But Sharp And Dapper
Among the many reasons for Giants coach Tom Coughlin to feel like a bit of a doofus last night, the fact that he was wearing the standard coachwear of a blue poncho festooned with the soul of a windbreaker, while Jack Del Rio finally found a way to not look like a meathead in his rather sharp suit. ...
Hello, Jacksonville, And Welcome Back To The National Stage
After a couple weeks of rather wretched Monday Night Games, we've got a halfway decent one tonight, with the Giants, frantically trying to hold off Tony Romo and the Cowboys in the NFC East, traveling to the urban mecca that is Jacksonville to face the Jaguars....
Dodgers Release Crack Smuggling Minor Leaguer
Kengshill Scheider Pujols is a minor league pitcher with the Vero Beach Dodgers, and the man stuffed 118 bags of crack cocaine into his underwear. The unfortunate thing about it is that he didn't even wait for "Stuff Bags of Crack-Cocaine in Your Underwear" night at Vero Beach, and almost certainly ...