ac Page 1246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Cannot Destroy Priest Holmes
Of all the possible ways for a retired athlete to deal with the crushing blow of realizing that the only skill he's ever possessed is suddenly beyond his grasp, we supposed an "ill-fated comeback attempt" is above "winning 'Dancing With The Stars'" ... but just barely....
Another Perfect Moment Spoiled By Assheads
Like many of you, our favorite moment from last year's college football season was the thrilling Fiesta Bowl, in which Boise State beat Oklahoma with the Statue of Liberty play and running back Ian Johnson proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend after scoring the winning points. It was one of those s...
Leinart's Life Turning Into Slightly More Boring Episode Of "Maury"
Matt Leinart would like you to know: His baby momma be buggin'. Ahem. That is to say: He respectfully disagrees with Brynn Cameron's assessment that he's never around as a father. Actually, not all that respectfully....
You Had A Bucket? Luxury!
Who among us hasn't locked their young child in his room with a loaf of bread and a bucket and then gone off to watch the Packers at an Indian casino? (Long pause). Um, anyone? Cripes, this is embarrassing....
Shelley Duncan Needs A Nickname
It happens all too often in sports; a youngster bursts onto the scene with a noteworthy accomplishment so quickly that even our best broadcasters and journalists have not had time to supply him with a ridiculous, hackneyed nickname, or overreaching home run call. From the New York Daily News:...
Italics Are Awesome
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Wait, So Whose Diapers Is He Changing Then?
We might remember, back in August 2006, that we were somewhat skeptical that the family of Brynn Cameron — the former USC women's basketball player who had Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart's baby — were completely pleased with the whole arrangement. Within a month of this pregnancy announcement, Lei...
Why Go Outside When You Can Watch People Going Outside On Television?
• Now — Golf: The Open Championship [ABC] • 1:00 — Movie: Van Wilder [Comedy Central] • 1:30 — Motor Sports: Indy Racing Series Honda 200 at the Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course [ABC] • 2:00 — MLB: Chicago White Sox at Boston Red Sox [WGN] • 2:00 — Volleyball: AVP Long Beach Open men's final [NBC] • 4:00 ...
Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...
Getting Meta With Kige
Deadspin's favorite YouTube sports commentator is back on the ebays and he's been lurking around these parts. Kige Ramsey heard about the NFL's plan to cover media members with pieces of flair, and he is none too happy. Listen up NFL executives, you do not want to put Kige in a corner....
ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...
A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...
Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...
Kicking Pepperoni On The Ump
There are so many ways to express your displeasure with an umpire. You can boo; some do this quite effectively. You can send him angry letters. You can say nasty things about him on a message board. Or you can throw pizza at him....
Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....
Wait! Maybe We Should Hear What He Has To Say ...
I'm skeptical this even is real — seriously, it's that funny — but two women were hospitalized — OK, so that parts not funny — Tuesday night after a horse leapt a dividing wall and climbed into the announcer's booth at a horse show in Lexington, Kentucky....
Saturday Afternoon Stuff To Watch
• 1 p.m. — NBA: NBA Access with Ahmad Rashad and his earring [ABC] • 2 p.m. — Movie: Cliffhanger [Telemundo] • 2 p.m. — College Football: Miami vs. Ohio State in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl [ESPN Classic] • 3 p.m. — Golf: John Deere Classic [CBS] • 3 p.m. — Movie: Days of Thunder [Spike] • 3:30 p.m. — MLB:...