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There Are At Least Four Classic References In This Image
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Let's Watch Unaired Footage Of Celebrities Buying Girl Scout Cookies
Chris Rock performed a bit during tonight’s Academy Awards about his daughters’ Girl Scout troop selling cookies at the ceremony. And they really did sell cookies—with celebrities handing over hundreds for boxes of Thin Mints....
If The Oscars Nominated Good Movies, They Wouldn't Be The Oscars
For 363 days a year, nobody gives a fuck about the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Today is one of the two remaining days, when suckers care—and other suckers pretend to care—about who gets nominated for the Oscars, which are worthless trash and always have been....
Here's What Happened Last Time Chris Rock Hosted The Oscars
Chris Rock will host the 2016 Oscars, which gives us hope for a brighter, less boring award-show future. The last time he was on duty was 2005, and he did a pretty bang-up job. He was also much meaner than you probably remember....
J.K. Simmons Uses Oscar Win To Promote Calling Your Parents
As expected, J.K. Simmons took home the Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance in Whiplash. Simmons's acceptance speech was simple and yet memorable, simply because he told a worldwide audience to call—"Don't text, don't email, call"—a parent, if they have any living ones remaining. ...
Who Was The Best Oscars Host Of The Past 25 Years?
11. James Franco and Anne Hathaway (2011). Always beware of courting the "young," particularly two young people who are basically 50-year-olds in grownup clothing. Franco, stripped of all self-referential schtick, turned into an empty suit with nowhere to hide, and Hathaway's desperate attempts to p...
Your <em>Slightly</em> Early Oscar Predictions For 2014
The only thing we know for certain about next year's Oscars is that: a) Seth MacFarlane won't be hosting them, and b) It's pretty stupid to be talking about them already. But being stupid has never stopped me before....
Jose Canseco's Oscar Night Tweets, Illustrated
We've long believed Jose Canseco's Twitter account to have transcended his Earthly realm. (In other words, it's possible somebody else is doing most of the tweeting.) That doesn't mean those tweets aren't still occasionally funny when provided with some context. Here, then, is what Jose Canseco was...
Sandra Bullock Should Take Up Weightlifting
Sandra Bullock had some trouble opening the envelope for Best Editing last night, and perhaps she might avoid such embarrassing circumstances in the future if she starts a weightlifting regimen. After all, she's already got the liftface down pat....
Seth MacFarlane Wasn't The Worst Oscar Host Ever: In Defense Of A Boob
For Seth MacFarlane's critics, Sunday night was supposed to be the moment we finally got to see the guy get his comeuppance. A "billion" viewers around the world, one of the most prestigious gigs in all of entertainment: As Oscar host, this was his chance to justify his swiftly, perhaps inexplicably...
Rain, Trains, And Dead Kids: What To Put In Your Movie If You Want To Win An Oscar
Welcome to Dataspin, a weekly data visualization of whatever the fuck....
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year’s Oscars will be “song-and-dance heavy,” which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That ...