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Our Long National Nightmare Is Over: Reggie And Kim, Together Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Chuck Knoblauch Arrested For Assault
The former major leaguer was charged with choking his common law wife and hitting her in the face. I think it's safe to say he didn't hit her with a baseball. (Hey, at least I didn't mention the steroids!) [KARE11]...

Couple Christens Dallas Cowboys Stadium's New Bathroom Stalls
Some of you who follow my infrequently updated Twitter account may have seen a report from a friend about a video of two people doing the North Texas rumpy-pump in the bathroom at the MNF game. It has arrived. (NSFW)...

The Last Days Of Sal Fasano
SI Writer Jeff Pearlman goes back to the Fasano well for the most depressing piece yet. Sal's now 38, and struggling: "You can't help but question your sanity. You're driven by one thing — hope."[SI]...

Overhyped Week 4 NFL Grudge Match? This Calls For A DEADSPIN FIELD TRIP
As you know, on Sunday Brett Favre Favred the Favres to a thrilling Favrory by Favring a last-second Favre to Greg Brett Favre. It was real sandFavre footFavre. He was a like a Favre out there!...

Angels Get Nick Adenhart's Jersey Drunk
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...

Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....

The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...

Truth In Labeling?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

It's Like The "Where's Waldo" Of Obscene Signs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Send Us Your Bitter Tales Of Defeat
If Drew's mailbag has taught us anything, it's that gambling stories usually end badly. In that spirit, we'd like to hear your worst....

Your College Football Open Thread
Sound Off Here. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage...

China Still Very Much A Developing Nation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Turner Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Atlanta Braves' Turner Field. Photo by Charlie Morn....

Mark Schlereth Is Awful And Needs To Be Liquidated
There are baffling success stories in this world. There always have been. But one of the most puzzling ones is how Mark goddamn Schlereth has somehow become the most omnipresent football analyst on ESPN....

G-20 Demonstrators Will Bring Down The Global Capitalist Hegemony With Sports-Themed Protest
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Lidge Meltdown Brings On Fan Meltdown
Though this video contains a dejected Phillies fan, it could be any one of us. In just three minutes, he articulates, very inarticulately, the pain we've all felt. I present to you the Überfansch, whose transcendence will justify our existence....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...

Purple Jesus Is Gonna Break His F*cking Neck. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....