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Just A Few More Weeks Until American Gladiators
Shouted over the PA, we hear directions given to these muscle-bound freaks of nature. The director says things like, "Howl for me, Wolf," and "More posing, Justice" and my personal favorite - "Look menacingly while you stare at your balls" (he was referring to the giant balls that were swinging from...
Last Call For Deadspin Word Of The Year Nominations
Last week we asked for nominations for Deadspin Word of the Year, and you answered the call handsomely. From your herd of suggestions we've culled 55 entries — yes, yes, girls, "Mangino" is in there — and we'd probably like to get it to 70 or so before actual voting commences. So if you were unable ...
When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
No Need to Wait For Heisman Results
Why slog through the pre-packaged Heisman presentation show at 8 pm when you can just check the exit polls? It's not as if you'll wait for your November 3rd newspaper to find out who won the presidential election, you'd just check the exit polls. Fortunately a website out there in the vast internet...
Canadian Football Has Strange Celebrations
Click to view I'm just going to sit back and let the video speak for itself. Sometimes a Saturday afternoon just isn't complete without a video of some schmuck getting hit in the balls with a football. Via College Humor...
Listen Only To Those With Expertise
• Woo-hoo, another ESPN Memo! • Stephen A. Smith is so much more qualified than your stupid bloggers. • John Maine wore a dress, and then made it clear that he didn't. • "You Dead, Dawg," Deadwood-style. • The Football Guys. • Illinois in the Rose Bowl. Yipes. • Denny Green, copyrightin'! • Ashley Y...
Don't Feed Them After Midnight
Give him to us. We'll take him to the kennel, they'll put him to sleep. It will be quick and painless compared to what we would do to him. We'll catch the beast ourselves. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death. Maybe we'll put him in our spin-drier on high heat....
Dennis Green Mocks Himself For Cash
Say what you will about former Buzzsaw "coach" Dennis Green, but you can't say he's not entrepreneurial. He has moved to copyright the phrase "They Are Who We Thought They Were."...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Jamboroo, Week 14: College Overtime? In The NFL? F—k Yeah!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...
Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...
If It's The Beginning Of The Month, It Must Be Varsity Letters Time
Those crazy characters over at Gelf are having another one of their Varsity Letters Reading Series things tomorrow night, and it's a solid, rollicking crew....
Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....
Zambonis On Fire!
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....
The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...
Uncovering The 19th Century Version Of 'You Dead, Dawg'
Well, this just makes me miss Deadwood all the more: It seems that raunchy language was such a problem in professional baseball in the late 1800s, that the league actually handed out a document telling players to knock it off. It lists several examples of banned expressions, which are absolutely fil...
Whatever Choice Was Made, It Was Going To Be Wrong
We enjoy this picture of Georgia center Fernando Velasco, taken after the Bulldogs' win over Georgia Tech Saturday, because he is holding an orange. Presumably, a fan through him — and some other Bulldogs — an orange to symbolize the Orange Bowl. This is odd not because Georgia is not going to the O...
Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...
Where'd You Hide The Alcohol, Danny Ocean?
It's like a three thing... it's, like, ball, dick, ball. It's like a division sign... we just wish you would take those off....