ad Page 1515 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....
The Eagles Will Probably Sign Jeff George By Week 4
Why not? It makes about as much sense as signing Jeff Garcia at this point. But, yes, the man who once lead the team to a false start away from the NFC Championship game back in 2006 has returned. [The700Level.com]...
Sports Doctors Demand More BRAINS!!!
Three active NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to science. What?! That's just nuts! What kind of crazy doct ... oh ... after they die. Yeah, that makes more sense. [AP]...
Jim Carroll: The Bard Of The Hardwood
Carroll — junkie, author, schoolboy basketball star — died Friday of a heart attack while working at his desk. He was a hopped-up Holden Caulfield with a jump shot, and the closest thing basketball ever had to a poet laureate....
Dear NBC, DIE
I hate you, NBC. I hate you so very much. All I wanted to do this weekend was enjoy some football....
<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....
The Anti-Favre Debate Is Nothing But A Straw Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Your NFL Open Thread
All your Brett Favre schadenfreude goes here. [NFL.com]...
Men With Telestrators Can't Stop Drawing Dongs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...
Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....
A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....
This Pig AIDS Aggression Will Not Stand, Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Dodger Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Dodger Stadium....
My Hot NFL Picks This Weekend
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It is NFL Day. Here are my Hot Six Spread Picks for the weekend, given gratis and at no charge. DISCLAIMER: What you do with this information is At Your Own Risk. (LOL)...
When Did Sportsy Wives and Girlfriends Get So Trashy? (Oh, the Mid 90s, Right)
The "English football" (f'ing soccer) team has banned the amazingly skanky wives-and-girlfriends club from hogging all the 2010 World Cup attention. America doesn't have the Posh Spice nightmare syndrome as bad—yet. But we're working on it....
Cub Fans Ruin Their Own Child's Life By Making Her A Cubs Fan
A Chicagoan e-mailed to ask why I have no love for the Windy City. Someone else e-mailed the answer. Meet new North Side resident, Waitle Nex Yeare. With any luck, the state has already placed her in protective custody. [Slanch]...
Bears Begin The Season With Five-Yard Penalty
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
You Are a Few Questions Away from a Best Buy Shopping Spree
Hi. Take this survey. You could win a $200 Best Buy gift certificate—those leaked 3rd-gen iPod Touch accessories could be yours! Or a pack of USB hubs, whatever. Email [email protected] with the last question to be entered. [Rules]...
Brad Penny Does Not Appreciate Your Mock Grunting
Even as Penny dominates NL hitting like a grown man mowing through Little Leaguers, he still carries himself like a toddler on the mound, ranting and raving about everything. So it goes without saying: Mock him at your own risk....