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Adelman's Kid Close To A Rare DUI Hat Trick
David Adelman, son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman and basketball coach at Lincoln High in Portland, Ore., earns his second DUI arrest since 2005. [Portland Oregonian]...

Spike Lee Will Help Out On Double-Teams Whenever He Can
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Kentucky Fans Forced To Relive "The Shot" For All Eternity
Christian Laettner, Rick Pitino and Vitamin Water have teamed up to annoy the crap out of you this March, with 50,000 repetitions of a commercial about the moment when they both peaked. Spoiler Alert! [KSR]...

Dwight Howard's Pre-Game Ritual Is The Same As Mine
I wonder if the bad stuff that's flushed out are all wearing little tiny red capes? [Mouthpiece Sports]...

The Babe Always Used Protection
It was moving day for the Yankee Stadium monuments on Tuesday. Sadly, during the short drive to the new stadium, the Mickey Mantle monument was arrested for DUI. [New York Daily News]...

This Just In: Notre Dame Still On Bubble Despite Several Losses
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Scott Eyre Would Like To Borrow $20 Til Payday
This isn't funny, actually. Phillies reliever Scott Eyre, who signed a $2 million contract during the offseason, says he's down to his last 13 bucks. Don't hock the ring! [Big League Stew]...

Sorry, Guys. Marko Jaric Is Officially Off The Market
News of the nuptials between Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric and his Brazilian model-chick, Adriana Lima, spread like herpes from a beer pong tournament this morning. Never underestimate the power of a poorly groomed mustache....

We'll Be Back With The Padres' 2009 Season After This Brief Message From Trevor Hoffman
It doesn't have the craftsmanship of the CC Sabathia ad in the Cleveland Plain Dealer — what glorious fonts! — but Trevor Hoffman's farewell manifesto in the San Diego Union Tribune is pretty cool nonetheless....

LenDale White May Or May Not Beat You With His Belt
You may have spent Valentine's Day cuddling with your sweetheart—or crying alone in a dark corner—but LenDale White celebrated his holiday with a little (alleged!) road rage back in his hometown of Denver....

Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Meet Your New Quarterback, Vikings Fans
The Texans said that they will trade Sage Rosenfels to the Vikings on Friday for a fourth-round draft pick. Is that a threat? [Houston Chronicle]...

Bunning Apologizes To Ginsburg, Kind Of
Well, that didn't take long. Kentucky senator and former Phillie Jim Bunning apologized for practically wishing Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg into the cornfield recently. But on closer inspection, what's wrong with his apology?...

Jim Bunning, Still Several Kinds Of Nuts
Jim Bunning, part of one of the most dramatic collapses in baseball history, seems to be watching his political career crumble around him as well. Let's get right to the highlights....

CC Sabathia Smuggles Small Child Into Spring Training
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Fifty Ways To Lose Your NBA Game
Dwyane Wade's career-high 50 points help Heat clobber Magic in ... wait, Miami lost by 23? Ouch. [Miami Herald]...

Check out a clip from the second episode of HBO’s hilarious new comedy series, Eastbound & Down.
Will Ferrell and Danny McBride go head-to-head in a scene from the second episode of HBO's hilarious new comedy series, EASTBOUND & DOWN. Watch the second episode tonight at 10:30 PM – only on HBO....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you turn the tables on your would-be mugger by stabbing him to death like the badass you are ......

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?
So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for Monday's ESPN SportsNation chatters ......