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Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you translate all of your comments into Klingon ... • College football: Orange Bowl, Virginia Tech vs. Kansas, at Miami (8:15 p.m., ET). Has Mangino ever ingested fruit? [Fox] • Golf: PGA Tour, Mercedes-Benz Championship, first round, at Kapalua, Hawaii (6 p.m., ET). Colt Brennan ha...

These Ones Only Go To Eleven: Your Wild Card Jamboroo
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

In Praise Of The Patriots (Kind Of)
So we're about to make a confession here, and we're not happy about it. We were watching that Patriots-Giants game last Saturday night, and after Randy Moss caught that ridiculous touchdown pass from Tom Brady, something terrifying occurred to us: We were rooting for the Patriots....

Tomorrow Night, We Join The Varsity Letters Crew
So, it's now January 2008, and you know what that means: It's time to unleash self-deprecating but subtly (?) self-aggrandizing posts reminding you we have a book coming out in exactly 20 days. And tomorrow night, we'll be reading from it....

Wade Phillips' Daughter Belly Dances And Reads Sports Blogs
You might remember, back in February, when MJD told you about Cowboys coach Wade Phillips' most attractive daughter. Well, now she's got an acting career. It seems to be going well....

Brady Is Giving Romo Dating Advice Now?
Apologies in advance for this item. You should know that, if you click on it, there will be a Britney Spears photo, the weekend box office receipts for Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the headline: Jamie Lynn's baby-daddy is a 'lying, cheating dog.' Hey, it's New Year's Eve; who's reading this anyway? ...

What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....

Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...

Wait, College Athletes Have Nice Cars?
Anyone who has gone to a university with a prominent sports program can tell you about the experience of seeing one of your player driving a vehicle that you wouldn't think they'd be able to afford. We can all justify it in our brains, hey, they just saved up for it, but we all know better. But do w...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your new TV that is larger than the actual playing field being televised ... • College football: Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Arizona State vs. Texas, at San Diego (8 p.m., ET) Let the Pac-10 Holiday Bowl humiliation continue. [ESPN] • College basketball: Nevada at North Carolina (7 p...

Jamboroo, Week 17: Your Holiday Hangover, Featuring The Dreaded Nanking Special
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....

Av Mercy
After their 4-3 overtime victory over the Rangers, the Colorado Avalanche said all the right things about how to replace injured comrades Joe Sakic and Ryan Smyth. "You can't," said Wojtek Wolski. "You don't," replied Scott Hannan. "But... you did," said the scoreboard. I mean, Wolski himself scored...

Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...

'Twas The Night Before December 22 ...
• Woody Paige's tough qualifications for the Hall of Fame. • Isiah introduces us to "sunt." • Elijah Dukes' December surprise. • Dolphins win! • The return of Lil Ronnie. • Michael Wilbon's tiny pals. • Paul LoDuca, dodger. • Scott Van Pelt, commencement speaker. • Jonathan Papelbon's dog rules. • H...

Deep Thunder Rolled Around Their Shores, Burning With The Fires Of Orc
They don't advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was our profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer....

It's DWOTY Votin' Time
You've marveled at the current race for the SHOTY, and thrilled to the excitement of the DHOF. But now it's time for the biggest contest of them all; and by that, I mean the smallest. Yes, it's time to vote for The Deadspin Word of the Year. After receiving sacks full of nominations, we've narrowed ...

Your Next Book Club Selection
Not that anyone will remember, considering it's the Friday before Christmas, but our Deadspin Book Club has made its next selection for its reading dissection. (Because dissection is pretty much what they did with the last one....