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Manny May Be A Marlin In A Matter Of Minutes
Will Manny Ramirez find the peace of mind he seeks in the land of Gators and hanging chads? It's true: Our protagonist is THIS close to being a Marlin; words that in just about any other time would be a dire threat, but this year sound kind of intriguing. At any rate, Florida home attendance should ...

Kyle Farnsworth Wears Camo Spanx, Apparently
Much like his reliever brethren Todd Jones, former Yankee Kyle Farnsworth took the news that he was traded to Detroit for Pudge Rodriguez yesterday with the stoicism of a Navy Seal. He realizes the business of professional baseball doesn't allow for emotional attachments and that success in this gam...

Government Issued Fashion Directives & the Internet Censors Who Love Them
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...

The Stupidest Catch
Rumor has it that the new Yankee Stadium will have suction tubes that will suck errant fans into the bowels of the stadium, like when Luke fell off the catwalk in Empire Strikes Back. Nets are so low-tech. Joseph Carullo, 54, was reaching for a foul ball on Tuesday night during the seventh inning o...

Scott Ferrall Needs Some Publicity
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio host Scott Ferrall actually had Ron Artest on-air last night and asked the forward about the pending trade to Houston. Unfortunately, Artest wasn't aware of the trade at that time. "I had my phone off," Artest tells the raspy-voiced Ferrall. Although he was a little shocked...

Hazing of High School Cheerleaders Still a Big Deal in Texas
At least no one's mom killed anyone this time. Instead the lovely lasses of Morton Ranch High School are being investigated for, among other things, binding new cheerleaders and throwing them into the pool. Take it away anonymous cheer critic, "Once you duct tape someone's hands, blindfold them thr...

Jeff Kent: A Good Jerk Is Hard To Find
The Manny Ramirez rumors and, you know, the earthquake are the top news in LA right now, but there's also an interesting article by the T.J. Simers in today's LA Times about Dodgers Dangle-stached second baseman Jeff Kent. The headline is "Appreciate Jeff Kent While You Still Can", which while overl...

Brady Quinn Starts Off New Season With Training Camp Tights
It's no big deal. Lots of quarterbacks wear tights when it's 100 degrees outside. Like...yeah, there's no real good comparison here. Am I the only person who pictures Brady Quinn angrily throwing down his Ripped Fuel in the locker room and squealing, "Darn it guys, they're not tights. They're Europ...

Brad Ziegler's Goofy-Assed Delivery Unhittable So Far
Finally, there's hope for Barry Zito. First, you need to sustain a couple of concussions ... look, it's complicated. But the upshot is that you change to a sidearm delivery. Then you, like the Oakland Athletics' Brad Ziegler, might one day break the major league record for consecutive scoreless inni...

Nike Bows To Pressure From Screeching Morons and Pulls Dunk Ads
According to the Wall Street Journal, Nike acted because the new Hyperdunk ads were deemed by some to be offensive to blacks and gays. Which is, in two words, patently absurd. It also raises an interesting question: why can't a sports company just say that their ads are meant for non-idiots?...

When It Comes Right Down To It, Maybe Cheerleaders Really Are Just A Bunch Of Brazen Exhibitionists
Late last night Deadspin received an email with the subject " Former USC Song Girl Sarah Carmona" which, even though harmless enough, can only mean something salacious would be attached. True to form, the accompanying emailer described the pictures yanked from Ms. Carmona's Facebook page which inclu...

NBA Player Carousel: Where Are They Now?
It's been a rather busy summer in the NBA: Extensions, trades, free agent signings, a few defections, and one notable overseas departure. And although guys like Kwame Brown and Randolph Morris are still looking in vain (and abject terror) for a new home, here's a semi-exhaustive list of the major, ...

Sometimes You Take What You Can Get
I flipped on the Arena Bowl yesterday for a chance to watch something I haven't seen a long time — a Philadelphia championship. I didn't watch the whole game — completely forgot about it, actually — but I had made a mental note a couple weeks ago when the Philadelphia Soul made it and flipped over t...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while recovering from a harrowing experience at an art gallery... • MLB: New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox. This might get a few mentions on SportsCenter. [ESPN] • Drama: Generation Kill. Episode three of seven. [HBO] • Movie: Caddyshack. Teaser video after the jump. [ESPN Classic] ...

Milk Mustaches and Shoulder Fingers
Now do you people see what happens when big dairy fills their cows with hormones? We get Olympic swimmers like Maritza Correia with fingers growing out of their damn shoulders. And I know that can't be good for resistance. Body By Milk via SI...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

Whoever Wins, They'll Still Love Each Other
The Yankees and Red Sox are ready to go in Fenway and Joe Buck's pants are tightening in anticipation. New York is rolling through July, having won seven straight after last night's series opening win. Andy Petitte and Tim Wakefield will be on the mound and Manny Ramirez is back in Boston's lineup ...

Joba Rules Fenway
The Yankees came into Boston on a six-game winning streak and in the end Mariano Rivera kept it alive. Joba Chamberlain dominated the Red Sox lineup for seven shutout innings, striking out nine while allowing just three hits. Kyle Farnsworth did his best to fuck things up in the eighth when he gave...

Introducing Deadspin Nation's Oleo Hero Of The Week
In some countries, ridiculous and unseemly behavior is punishable by deportation, imprisonment or even death. But in Deadspin Nation, one is simply singled out for ridicule ... then deported, imprisoned or killed. And since this is a democracy, our citizens get to choose. Each Friday, "Deadspin Nati...

Welcome To Deadspin Nation
"Kournikova's career remains a prominent example of how sports, sex and celebrity congeal into the oleo that is entertainment in Deadspin Nation. This is a natural marriage dating to the days of the original Olympic Games, when competitors — all men — competed nude." Well, that makes perfect sen... ...