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Only Soccer Can Get You Off The Junk
It's tough to incentivize a person trying to kick a heroin habit. The only thing you can give them that would make them happy is, uh, more heroin, and that won't do. So England is trying something new: Giving away soccer tickets....
Chad Johnson's Attitude Reaches New Level Of Stinko-ness
It was only a couple years ago when Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson was cause celebre to NFL fans; his defiance against the league for his wacky endzone celebrations seemed harmless and amusing, even if it did cost his team the occasional 15-yard penalty. He was also quotable, seemingly self-awa...
Philadelphia Versus Detroit: The Feel-Good Killer Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Eastern Conference today, continuing with the series between the Detroit Pistons and the Philadelphia 76ers, which begins Sunday....
Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....
Timberwolves Double Down On The Lottery
When you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, you have to lure in season ticket buyers by any means necessary. So they've come up with quite the novel plan: They're tying ticket prices to which lottery pick the team gets....
Stephen Colbert Unveils Latest In Philadelphia Sporting Attire
Stephen Colbert is in Philadelphia this week to film his PA primary-centric version of "The Colbert Report" and is ingratiating himself with the local animals quite nicely. Last night, he showed off this multi-teamed jersey that would surely be a big hit with some of the more ardent and more fashio...
Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...
Highway Robbery In The NBA
In more than 20 years of following professional basketball, I've never seen anything like this. The Philadelphia 76ers had seemingly beaten the Cleveland Cavaliers 90-89. Time had expired. The Sixers were in their locker room celebrating. But stop the presses! The referees had — after reviewing the ...
The Pope Should Wipe His Feet Before Entering Yankee Stadium
The Pope turns 81 years old today — 10 years older than John McCain, and just three years older than Julio Franco — and he's celebrating it in Washington, D.C. with President Bush. (What better way?) He will be celebrating mass at the new Nationals Stadium, which means we're going to assume Elijah D...
The NBA Playoff Guest List Is Ready. Guess Who's Not Invited?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who don't want to work. He just want to bang on the drum all day. When he's not quoting obscure 80s lyrics, you can find him watching old episodes of The Smurfs at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Psyche! Part I. The game was over. The Sixers had won. In fact, the team...
Wade Boggs And His Mullet Appear On ESPN
For those of you who saw Wade Boggs on "Baseball Tonight" this weekend — the one ESPN show we never, ever miss — you are probably wondering the same thing The Sports Hernia was wondering: When's "Road House 3" coming out?...
You're the Immelman
It wasn't the most thrilling of finishes, but Trevor Immelman is your 2008 Masters champion regardless. Immelman, the first South African to be jacketed champion at Augusta since Gary Player in 1978, was able to protect the lead he held from the tournament's first round. Immelman's 75 wasn't all th...
Come On, You Gunners
It's Sunday, the grass is green, and the shirt is red. But forget Tiger for now, it's time for the Premier League's biggest match to date. Old Trafford is rocking (probably) and Arsenal is looking to salvage their season with a win over the table topping Red Devils. As a Chelsea fan, I'm obviously ...
About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
The Week We Lost A Steely McBeam
• Congratulations ... sigh ... to Bill Self. • Buckner, Fenway, heartwarming, kind of, not really. • Gen. Petraeus on the Wii. • This is a very specific personalized jersey. • Rick Astley and Shea Stadium. • Roy Williams, and Hooters. • Steely McDrunky. • Pat Summitt is awesome. • All right, everybo...
At Least He's Not Out Taking Illegal Drugs Or Making Some Woman Miserable
When we were — what was it — about five or six? - we were sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny. And we - we cut out this Bugs Bunny off the cover of a comic book and carried it around with us. Carried it around in our pocket and took it out and looked at it periodically, and — and it got all wrinkled up...
Wade Boggs Doomed To Fail On Baseball Tonight
Wade Boggs, venerable hit machine and moustachioed gadabout, has always seemed to be an odd, shady guy. There was that messy affair with Margo Adams. Then he started popping up in hair plug commercials. Then he inducted WWE's Curt Henning into the Wrestling Hall of Fame last year. His boozing on ro...
Today In Silly Political Wagers
In case you forget, people, gambling is a sin, but that doesn't stop our politicians from insisting on those dopey city "wagers" anytime their teams play in the postseason....
The Colorado Rockies Own All The Hip Catchphrases
Remember when Pat Riley trademarked the phrase "Three-peat?" It's a good thing he did, because, you know, his team couldn't three-peat in the NBDL right now. Well, the Colorado Rockies have absorbed Riley's lesson: They're attempting to trademark the term "Rocktober."...