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The Kelvin Sampson Era Is Officially Over
Kelvin Sampson and the University of Indiana have reached an agreement that will pay the coach $750,000 to get the fuck out of Bloomington. The overzealous recruiter has also agreed not to sue the school for wrongful termination. Although the Hoosiers have rid themselves of Sampson they still have a...

Vroom! Vroom Vroom Vroom!
• Segways! • Mattoon! And other places! • Lots of baseball previews. • Nice week for Keith Van Horn. • Andy Pettitte. Whatever. • We miss you, Harry. • The Marlins want your fat guys. • The Harold Reynolds case may never begin. • Man, you guys love Scott Van Pelt. • Bob Knight, sold out by Lawrence ...

You Shouldn't Wear That Body
The next time you come into our courtroom we hope you've got either a better defense, or a better class of client....

Take Our Mistake, And Make It Yours
Because we attended school (occasionally) at the University of Illinois, most of our old friends are fans of the Chicago Bulls, and it's difficult to overstate how excited they were when they initially signed Ben Wallace. It felt vindicating, the reward for waiting for the first post-Jordan star. T...

The Last Stop Of The Tour's First Leg
Over the last month, we've been home for about 36 hours. We've hit Tempe, Los Angeles, Alameda, Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign, St. Peters, Mattoon, Boston and Philadelphia. Tonight, in the Georgetown area of Washington, D.C., we make our last stop before returning to New York for two readings next w...

Brent Petway Wants To Take Down Dwight Howard
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm has all of our NBA Development League coverage. Today, he talked to Brent Petway, former Michigan Wolverine and champion of the D-League's dunk contest, about how he wants to challenge Dwight Howard....

Welcome (Boo!) To (BOO!) Philadelphia (Booooooooo!)
Once again, we remind you of the next reading a mere half hour or so before it starts: We're hitting Daulerio country tonight, good ole Philadelphia. Philadelphia was the first East Coast city this Midwesterner had ever visited, and we've loved it since we were a kid. (We still get goose bumps when...

There's No Room In This Post-Modern World For A Little Boy And His Pecker
Last month, this very site raised your hopes with an Ohio minor league sports team being named the Peckerheads. Well, it brings me great pain to inform you all that such a team mascot will not happen....

NBA D-League All-Star Weekend: Basketball Is Basketball
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Today: The D-League All-Star Game....

It's Almost Time For the NFL Combine And That Means...<em>Mamula</em>
ESPN dove into the Mamula pool early this year with the annual "Hey, let's get Mike Mamula to talk about how much of a bust he was..."-story that antsy NFL reporters hop on during the post-Pro Bowl dead zone. This year at ESPN, Pat Yasinskas (rhymes with "Dasplinkas" — maybe ) drew the Mamula card, ...

Sweet Caroline ... DAH DAH DAH
We gleefully come to you live from Boston, Massachusetts, where, in about 45 minutes, we'll be making an appearance at that New England staple ... Barnes and Noble!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as ... Gahhh! Where moon? ... • College basketball: Purdue at Indiana (7 p.m., ET); Georgia at Kentucky (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; N.C.-Greensboro at Davidson (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. The Belk Arena Faithful make Cameron Crazies look like nuns. • Cycling: Tour of California, stage 2, Santa Rosa...

Watch Where You Park Your Truck Around The Cows
Far be it from us to tell Rockies outfielder Ryan Spilborghs what to do with his truck, or how to live his life, but we think he should either consider new parking options, or stop offending the golden gods of animal excrement....

Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...

Down Go the Liverpudlians!
Hey, wow, Liverpool lost to, uh, Barnsley. That sounds like an upset, I think. Don't ask me, I'm a red-blooded blinkered American simian who don't truck no foreigner sports. I'm sure the losers all groused and said things like "poxy" and called each "prats" and ate bad food with their jagged teeth. ...

Berman Videos Want To Be Free
• We tried out the Media Approval Ratings. • We were in Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign and St. Peters. • John Rocker on steroids. Really. • How to bond in Ohio. • ESPN was protested, kind of. • We talked to the guy releasing all the Berman videos, and then we just posted them ourselves. • Goodbye, D...

Presenting The Deadspin Food Pyramid
Reading this site is hungry work. So, inspired by the Deadspin Pyramid of Success which you saw on Wednesday, we now give you the Deadspin Food Pyramid: Everything you will need to make smart nutritional choices at home, at work and at play! Approved by the Food and Drug Administration*, and smart ...

We Are Shiva, The God Of Death
We're not the guy you kill. We're the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don't even see what we are? We sold out Arthur for 80 grand. We're your easiest problem and you're gonna kill us?...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Meet Us In St. Peter's
You know, can you think of a better way to spend your Valentine's Day than at a Barnes and Noble in suburban St. Louis, listening to some guy talk about his sports book? No, right? Well, you're in luck....