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Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....

Zambonis On Fire!
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....

The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...

Uncovering The 19th Century Version Of 'You Dead, Dawg'
Well, this just makes me miss Deadwood all the more: It seems that raunchy language was such a problem in professional baseball in the late 1800s, that the league actually handed out a document telling players to knock it off. It lists several examples of banned expressions, which are absolutely fil...

Whatever Choice Was Made, It Was Going To Be Wrong
We enjoy this picture of Georgia center Fernando Velasco, taken after the Bulldogs' win over Georgia Tech Saturday, because he is holding an orange. Presumably, a fan through him — and some other Bulldogs — an orange to symbolize the Orange Bowl. This is odd not because Georgia is not going to the O...

Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...

Where'd You Hide The Alcohol, Danny Ocean?
It's like a three thing... it's, like, ball, dick, ball. It's like a division sign... we just wish you would take those off....

The NL's Best Pitchers Hunt And Hit College Bars Together
When we were the sports editor at the Daily Illini, Illinois head coach Lou Henson and his wife Mary invited us into their home, and we drank hot tea and ate chocolate on their porch while we discussed Jerry Hester, Kiwane Garris and next year's team. We are realizing today that we were sports edi...

Jamboroo, Week 13: Where The F—k Are My December NFL Saturdays?
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...

The Patriots Are, For One Night, Almost Mortal
The Eagles might have fallen just short tonight, but three important things happened....

Eagles, Patriots, Roughriders And Bombers
The biggest question regarding tonight's Eagles and Patriots game (8:15pm, NBC) isn't whether the Pats can keep their perfect season run alive. They will. It's whether or not this inevitable gong show will resemble anything even close to a competitive football game. It probably won't....


Workin' On Thanksgiving
• Nick Saban is a student of history. • It's funny when sideline reporters are dropped on their head. • The Celtics aren't going undefeated. • Zoooooook. • Isiah somehow survived the week. • Thanksgiving is not that important to Ron Mexico. • We will miss Kaz Tadano. • Frank TV is here! (Briefly.) •...

We'll Be Listening To You
We know that you know, Mr. Caul. For your own sake, don't get involved any further....

No Haka In Oregon, Bra
And now a story about a football team that begins every game with a 15-yard penalty ... and curiously, it's not the Raiders. The players from Jefferson High in Oregon perform the Haka Dance during pregame warmups every week, and are summarily penalized by officials for taunting. But instead of givin...

The Eagles Are HUGE Underdogs Sunday
We were pretty amazed to read this this morning: Apparently Sunday night's Patriots-Eagles game has the biggest spread in NFL history. (Well, not exactly: They're not counting expansion teams, for some reason; the Buccaneers were 24-point underdogs to the Steelers in their first season, and lost 42-...

Jamboroo, Week 12: A Special, Comprehensive Breakdown Of Thanksgiving From An Experienced Fat Person
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Except for today, because we're off tomorrow, because it's Thanksgiving....

Baseball Loses A Trailblazer
It is truly a sad day in the world of baseball: Kaz Tadano, the Japanese former relief pitcher for the Indians, has decided to return to Japan. We already miss him....

Al Davis Is Not At All Insane
We thought you should know that Al Davis stated recently that he will not retire until the Oakland Raiders win two more Super Bowls. We're not saying that it may take a few years, but we did immediately think of this photo. "Al, if you want a two tight end set, beep twice. For a running play, beep o...