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Well, That Didn't Take Very Long
Oh the joys of Cafe Press. Luckily for those grammatically challenged denizens rooting for the Philadelphia Phillies for the World Series, you now get to have your very own T-shirt that will both show off pride in your team and your low SAT scores. There are a wide variety of styles — ring tee, long...

Overexcited Phils Fan Creates Grammatically Challenged Rally Cry
Well, this is a shame. And typical. But Philadelphia Phillies fans have never been known for their, oh, you know. What's the word? Smarts. (Present company included, obviously.) But this is just so endearingly dopey, I'm hopeful it does catch on. Via The 700 Level (which is celebrating in high style...

Madonna, A-Rod Reportedly Now Allowed to Touch Each Other's Private Parts Without Consequence
Well, this was inevitable. Now that she's officially divorcing her husband Guy Ritchie, the news resurfaces that over-striated singer Madonna is once again possibly doinking Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez. (*kazoo sound*) To the celebrity gossip-mongering! Newsday's blog, The Final Score, beg...

No Hollywood Ending
What they're saying out in the ether about the Phillies' 5-1 win over the Dodgers in Game 5 of the National League Championship Series ... • But At Least I Have A Husband. (2008-10-15 3:40 p.m., PST) I just want to tell you all good luck. We're all counting on you. [Dodger Thoughts] • Farewell, Cond...

I Don't Believe What I Just Saw...
1988 was a year I didn't watch as much sports as I used to because I discovered Headbanger's Ball and had hair that looked like this, but I did watch the one-legged walk-off game by Kirk Gibson. (Most likely while ironing a Megadeth back patch to my jean jacket. Who got all the chicks?) As you may k...

Welcome To Midnight (Or Anytime You Want, Really) Madness
It's that time of year again ... the time when your favorite college basketball program gets you super-pumped up with a glorified pep rally then makes you sit on your hands for three weeks waiting for the big tip off against Marathon Oil. Go team! This institutionalized blue balls is brought to you ...

Tony Gonzalez to Chiefs: Thanks, You Have Ripped Out My Soul and Left Me For Dead
It was a little surprising to have Tony Gonzalez still stuck in Kansas City at the end of yesterday's riveting NFL trade deadline but the 32-year-old Pro Bowl tight end's quest for a Super Bowl will apparently have to wait another lifetime. Even though Gonzalez had politely requested a trade while ...

Selig Must be Nervous: LCS Ratings Down, and Now Tampa Has Pushed Boston to the Brink
We’re sure plenty of Boston fans will cling to hope in the ALCS by pointing out that the Red Sox rallied from a 3-1 deficit to defeat Cleveland in last year’s postseason. Three minor differences: they had a healthy and overpowering Josh Beckett in Game Five, came home for games six and seven, and Or...

1000th Post Countdown…The Nine
Does anybody else remember this show? It was this group of (wait for it) nine people who were in a bank during a robbery. I faintly remember seeing an episode or two and recognizing that guy from “Party of Five,” even though I never watched that show. I kinda wished it had more episodes during it’s ...

The Roundup: Squash Those LeBron-to-Brooklyn Plans; Nets Move is Delayed
Our head would have exploded at this party; at our old gig, two of the nicest actresses we ever dealt with were Jordana Brewster and Sophia Bush, and yes, it helps that they’re gorgeous … workout tips if you can’t afford the gym … an electoral college blowout? … not only are 80% of Americans broke, ...

How 'Bout Them Cowboys?
The NFL trade deadline is just 45 minutes away, and, yes, most of the time, the blockbuster deals usually involve special teams players and future draft picks and kicking tees, but this one could be somewhat intriguing. And one team that might look a whole lot different going into this weekend than ...

Phillies Threaten To Eliminate Dodgers; PETA Threatens To Eliminate Phillies
What they're saying out in the ether about the Phillies' 7-5 win over the Dodgers in Game 4 of the National League Championship Series ... • Video: Shane Victorino And Matt Stairs. That may have been the most excited I've ever been watching a single swing of a baseball bat. If this Phillies team bea...

Matt Stairs Enters the Pantheon of Philadelphia's Portly Sports Heroes
When the Philllies added journeyman hitter Matt Stairs to their roster August 30th, it was a move that barely registered on most people's radar. Another left-handed bat off the bench seemed like something the Phillies didn't need — even though Geoff Jenkins was recovering from an injury — but with e...

NLCS Game Four Live Blog: Phillies Vs. Dodgers
The Dodgers want to even up this series at 2-2. Strangely, the Phillies don't agree with them on that issue. It remains to be seen if the Phillies will stay unbeaten in Deadspin live blogs, or if Tim McCarver will fall asleep sometime during the sixth inning. Derek "Derrick" Lowe will pitch against ...

John Madden Getting Sick of Riding Old Bones Across Country in a Bus to Cover Crappy Games
The Washington Post has just reported that NFL broadcasting stalwart John Madden will miss his first week blabbering about football for the first time in 476 games. He's not gravely ill and not planning on retiring soon either, so the Frank Caliendo suicide watch is also put off indefinitely. No, th...

Detroit Lions Still Finding New And Impressive Ways To Lose
Two games after getting rid of the The GM Who Shall Not Be Named, Detroit found itself on the verge of its first and possibly only win of the season against the Minnesota Vikings. The defense had kept the opposition under thirty for the first time all season and backup QB "Dandy" Dan Orlovsky had be...

Old People Fighting, Old People Pitching, And Alyssa Milano Feels Your Pain
What they're saying on the Intertubes about the Dodgers' 7-2 win over the Phillies in Game 3 of the National League Championship Series. Pictured: Third-inning benches-clearing scuffle, as Dodgers' first-base coach Mariano Duncan utters pleasantries to Phillies' first-base coach Davey Lopes. Combine...

Samuel Peter Had a Bad Day; Klitschko and Dawson Win Big
Vitali Klitschko made his return to the ring after a retirement that lasted nearly four years, all the while looking like he'd never left the gym. The man who retired with the WBC heavyweight title showed his age in the form of some gray hairs and a slightly softer torso, but his precision in the r...

The Deadspin Pub Celebrates World Cup Qualifying
Weekends without league play are always a bit disappointing, but fortunately today is positively loaded with worthwhile international matches. World Cup qualifying is back in the spotlight and we're being treated to some great matches in Europe, as well as some crucial matches in Africa and the Ame...

MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...