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Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
The Best Place To Enjoy The NL's Big Weekend? Buffalo!
• That ESPN Town Hall Meeting did not go well. • Weed! • This is not a good way to impress Jim Tressel. • Nobody is better at Photoshop than Russian topless dancers. • Brett Favre, champion of jorts. • The Isiah Thomas Case is almost over. Sad. • Erin Andrews is a diligent interviewer. • "Rememberin...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
We're Sorry For Your Loss. Your Mother Was A Terribly Attractive Woman.
Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp....
Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...
Taste The Rockies, Losers! Taste Them!
The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card rac...
All Aboard The Rockies Freight Train
We don't know about the rest of you, but as the National League makes its mad scramble to the finish, with still no playoff spots secured, the team we're developing an emotional attachment to are the Colorado Rockies....
Drew's Guide To The Proper NFL Viewing Position
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Our Pick For The Worst Football Coach
We've already made fun of Norv Turned today, but, you know, at least he has shown some aptitude as an offensive coordinator in several different locals. If he weren't coaching the Chargers right now, we might not even be thinking about him — even praising him. But there's no excuse for Dave Wannsted...
Reading Phillies Start A Turf War
The Reading Phillies are preparing to replace the playing surface at FirstEnergy Stadium, and of course they're going to remove the old grass as economically as possible: With rock bands and a demolition derby. Hey, the town's only rototiller is rented out that weekend....
Love (And The NL Wild Card) Is A Battlefield
This photo is from Sunday, but it tells you all you need to know about the Padres right now. Milton Bradley being helped off the field, his season ended due to injury after a run-in with an umpire. San Diego had already lost center fielder Mike Cameron to an injury, meaning that two-thirds of their...
It Is Indeed Always Sunny There
On the whole, Philadelphia fans were awfully supportive of Donovan McNabb yesterday, and sheesh, why wouldn't they be? He threw four touchdowns and torched an undefeated team. (Well, Detroit, but still.) But this is Philadelphia: There are always a few grumpy holdouts....
Ow! My Playoff Chances!
Has a major league player ever before been injured after he was ejected from a game? Come on Elias Sports Bureau, make yourselves useful for once! Milton Bradley may be headed to the DL because of an umpire, he says. It was manager Bud Black who grabbed Bradley and spun him to the ground, preventing...
Cuz That Body's Too Bootylicious For Ya, Eh, Rog?
I didn't see this myself, but according to Foul Balls, Charlie Casserly reported on Inside the NFL this morning that the league sent a memo last week to all 32 teams informing them that they can no longer torture the visiting team with some well-placed tits and ass....
You'll Be Lucky To See This Post, Ever
• Jay Mariotti, blogger. • Isiah Thomas knows his race relations syntax. • Real or not, these are terrifying. • Bill Simmons' charming fan. • Adeus, Mourinho. • We'd patrol Chris Henry's house too. • MJD's new best friend. • The studly Rob Stone. • How to handle when your team wins behind enemy line...
Eff Her! Let's Get A Sandwich
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot? We'll spend twenty minutes looking for a golf ball!...
Saying Goodbye To RFK Stadium
It's a sad weekend in the world of outdated, monstrous sports buildings: It's the last three baseball games at RFK Stadium in DC....
Seemingly, No One Drinks In Wisconsin
Nothing's more fun than college football in the fall. Tailgating, commiserating with friends, cheering on the local team, general camaraderie all around. And, of course, drinking: What's football without a cold brewski or two beforehand. It clears the lungs. Clearly, the folks in Madison understand ...