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A Quick Word On Tomorrow's (Today's, For Us) Opening Ceremony
The Olympics begin tomorrow and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, O...

Brett Favre: Starting Quarterback For...The New York Jets
All of those reporters embedded in Green Bay, Hattiesburg, Tampa Bay, and Minnesota can climb out of their bunkers and officially catch a flight to JFK International Airport immediately because amazingly (finally) the 31-day Favre itchy-scratchy melodrama has reached a merciful end . FoxSports.com w...

How Many Cheerleaders Can a University of Texas Elevator Hold?
If you said 26, you're the big winner. Spirit fingers all around. Y'all rock. Only, it seems when you get 26 cheerleaders into one elevator, the elevator stops working. And then cheerleaders start to pass out. Which sort of impacts the fun. How much do you want to bet that when the girls got out, th...

University of Colorado Announces Valet Bike Parking For Football Games
Surely you jest. The University of Colorado couldn't really—this has to be made up, right? You can't expect to beat or even compete with five of the top 14 teams in the country if your university community is focused on valet bike parking. Well, you can if you're the crazy uncle of the Big 12. Welc...

The Questionable Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Shawn Andrews has always been a different type of guy. The line on him through most reporters is this: he's got his quirks, but he's a helluva football player and a really decent human being. Often times he's described as child-like (his nickname is the "Big Kid" after all, and he has a room in his ...

Infiltrating The USA/Russia Basketball Game For Fun And Profit
The Olympics begin Friday, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, Ol...

Yankee Revenue To Immediately Double In New Stadium
Last year the Yankees brought in an estimated $327 million to lead all major league baseball teams. Not bad considering that in 1973 George Steinbrenner bought the entire team for $10 million. But if you think those revenue numbers are big, you ain't seen nothing yet. When the new stadium opens next...

The Erin Andrews Floozy-Dress Mess Gets Dissected From All Angles
When the Minneapolis Star Tribune's Michael "Randball" Rand got Erin Andrews to discuss her thoughts on the infamous Mike Nadel column, not only was it a great get for him, but it also showed a testier, more defensive side of EA. "I think my overall reaction is that it's really sad that in 2008 … I ...

Pro Football Hall of Fame Game Live Blog
All right, football zealots. Finally, a televised NFL game (for lack of a better word). It's the Indianapolis Colts and the Washington Redskins. John Madden has been dipped in bronze gravy for this joyous occasion, and Al Michaels will be sitting on his knee. Before you follow along after the J-M-P,...

Padres Shortstop Khalil Greene Out For Season After Punching a Storage Chest
Yep, he broke his left hand. Anyone who has ever punched a wall, a door, or any other inanimate object that hasn't actually done anything to you, is wincing right now. Because but for the puny amount of force your punch mustered, you too could have broken a bone in your hand and looked like an incr...

Mike Nadel Got Your E-mail And Is Actually Quite A Reasonable Fellow
Yesterday's column by Mike Nadel caused a major stir in the sports blogatorium and sports media in general when he crucified America's favorite sideline princess, Erin Andrews, for her wardrobe and flirtatious reporting style while she was covering the last game in the Cubs/Brewers series Wednesday ...

The Day Where The Dodgers Ruined Everyone's Deadline
During yesterday's MLB Trade Deadline coverage, ESPN, powerhouse muti-tiered sports entertainment company had seemingly all the bases covered. They had their trade deadline blog with terminally plugged-in reports from Jayson Stark and Buster Olney pumping out information all day, plus their addition...

Manny To Dodgers, Bay To Red Sox, Little People To Pirates ... Mass Hysteria
Only trade deadline day can make the Intertubes blow up at 4:30 p.m. in the afternoon. Well, unless Heath Ledger dies. Anyway, Jon Heyman's got it: Manny Ramirez has been traded to the Dodgers. His manager is Joe Torre. Muse on that....

Update: MANNY TO DODGERS
There's still hope for everybody — but Peter Gammons seems completely exasperated by the Manny talk — that the blockbuster involving Manny Ramirez, Jason Bay, Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, some bat boys from the Devil Rays, the Marlins athletic trainer, and about 14 other permutations will come to fruiti...

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

Manny May Be A Marlin In A Matter Of Minutes
Will Manny Ramirez find the peace of mind he seeks in the land of Gators and hanging chads? It's true: Our protagonist is THIS close to being a Marlin; words that in just about any other time would be a dire threat, but this year sound kind of intriguing. At any rate, Florida home attendance should ...

Kyle Farnsworth Wears Camo Spanx, Apparently
Much like his reliever brethren Todd Jones, former Yankee Kyle Farnsworth took the news that he was traded to Detroit for Pudge Rodriguez yesterday with the stoicism of a Navy Seal. He realizes the business of professional baseball doesn't allow for emotional attachments and that success in this gam...

Government Issued Fashion Directives & the Internet Censors Who Love Them
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...

The Stupidest Catch
Rumor has it that the new Yankee Stadium will have suction tubes that will suck errant fans into the bowels of the stadium, like when Luke fell off the catwalk in Empire Strikes Back. Nets are so low-tech. Joseph Carullo, 54, was reaching for a foul ball on Tuesday night during the seventh inning o...

Scott Ferrall Needs Some Publicity
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio host Scott Ferrall actually had Ron Artest on-air last night and asked the forward about the pending trade to Houston. Unfortunately, Artest wasn't aware of the trade at that time. "I had my phone off," Artest tells the raspy-voiced Ferrall. Although he was a little shocked...