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Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...
If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...
Jon Lieber Has A Big-Ass Truck
We'd like to note that Phillies pitcher Jon Lieber is a real man with a real man's truck....
When Death Will Be Merciful
If your excitement still hasn't died down from the 30,000th "SportsCenter" special earlier this week, you're in luck: Only four more years until SportsCenter 35,000!...
Mustache Love
A fun site is Morristache, the site that dares to celebrate both the glory that is Adam Morrison's mustache, and the mustache in general. One thing bothers us, however. Morristache includes a Hall of Fame section, in which such luminary mustaches as Rollie Fingers and Tom Selleck are included. But, ...
Dan Hawkins REALLY Wants You To Practice More
Colorado Buffaloes head coach Dan Hawkins was hired because he's not the type of guy to lure his players in with strip clubs and booze, unlike his predecessor. We respect that; nobody wants that for college students....
I Guess Sean Taylor Doesn't Watch A Lot Of Pro Bowls
I thought that sort of thing was illegal in Pro Bowls. Defenses aren't allowed to blitz, there are fines for things like running fast, blocking, trying hard, or expressing a desire to compete. I guess Sean Taylor didn't get the memo... he went after Brian Moorman like Moorman stole his ATV....
Wade Phillips Made a Hot Daughter
The Cowboys' hiring of Wade Phillips as their new head coach drew an underwhelming response from the general public. Reactions ranged from yawns to "What the?!" to "At least it's not Norv Turner." There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm or glee....
Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...
Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....
When Will The Media Elite Stop Tearing Down Our White Heroes?
Every debate needs comic relief, and God bless him, Rush Limbaugh is always good for that. The former director of promotions for the Kansas City Royals in the early 1980s, and at one time the word's fifth-leading importer of OxyContin (behind Brazil), Limbaugh has become in recent years obsessed wit...
The Last Of Those Old Spice Polls
You know those Old Spice ads they're running around here, where you can win Final Four tickets? (That's what they tell us, anyway.) Well, here's the last one. Hope you got the first two right, we guess....
Cole Hamels Likes The Scrawny Reality TV Stars
For those of you who watch "Survivor," you might remember Heidi Strobel, a woman who, after three weeks on an island with little food, proved herself to be 85 percent breasts....
Daulerio at SBXLI: Yes, Somehow Freddie Mitchell Got Into the Maxim Party
Maxim's Superbowl Shitshow party was everything one could hope for and so much more. The Sagamore Hotel transformed itself into a beachfront paradise with celebrities and athletes, and, of course FredEx and his Godly hands cavorting about the joint. Freddie Mitchell was attached to Irishman Brady Qu...
Week In Review: Who Says Super Bowl Week Is Boring?
Jesus, people: What a week....
This Is Probably Not A Good Idea, But ...
So you know the Super Bowl? Big game, Bears-Colts, this Sunday, Billy Joel's gonna be there? Yeah, that one. Well, in a move we'll probably end up regretting, we have accepted an invitation to do the live blog of the game for CBS Sportsline. We decided to do this because the Super Bowl is on CBS, an...
Daulerio At Superbowl XLI: The Mustache Will Not Be Going to Maxim Tonight
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. This is the final entry of the week, though he might be back this weekend and will definitely be back Monday....
Non Movie Quote Sponsors Post
For the first time in more than a year, we have no movie quotes for you in the sponsors post this week, mainly because it would get too cluttered and confusing. (We were going to choose something obscure, independent and weird, so it's probably for the best.) Instead, there's another sponsor poll we...
Andy Reid's Rugrats Are Terror Behind The Wheel
Lost in all the Super Bowl business this week — and by that, we mean a bunch of people in faded Hawaiian shirts walking around convention centers looking bored — has been some rather wild news coming out about Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons. Sounds like they have some issues with their transportation...
Daulerio at SBXLI: Hello, Blue Carpet, Goodbye, McNabb
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the second of his two tales from Miami for today....