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There May Be An A-Rod/Madonna Sex Tape. Is There No End To Our Suffering?
A New York man is claiming that he has a Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape, and wants a million pounds for it. Of course, fundraisers are being organized furiously at this moment to pay the guy to burn all copies. Even Queen Elizabeth is chipping in with a few random palace jewels. Give till it hurts,...
Frank Beamer Knows How To Get Blacksburg Women Interested In Football
Approximately 500 women attended "Frank Beamer'sLadies Clinic" last Sunday, an event organized by Virginia Tech's head coach to inflict some of the local gals with a shot of Hokie pride and, according to Beamer, "get some of these ladies to talk a little football and say some things up in the stands...
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 ...
Video Of Milka Duno Towel-Snapping Danica Patrick, After 60 Long Minutes, Finally Surfaces
I was ready to move on from this particular story thinking there was no footage of this argument, and eventually concluding it was a lame altercation to begin with. But as the FanIQ headline says, "It's Just as Awesome as We Thought." Crystal clear audio. A towel snap. And a predominantly male pit ...
In The End, Joey Harrington's Distant Cousin Triumphs
All weekend the world was talking about Greg Norman's resurgence, briefly forgetting what he normally does on Sunday. (Fortunately, he reminded us almost immediately.) Then for about 10 minutes the hot golfer was Britain's Ian Poulter. Even for a split second, Jim Furyk's finish of +10 might have be...
Mid-Ohio Endures IRL Cat Fight Epidemic
If the concept of Ohio depresses you, at least the cities of Cleveland, Cincinnati, Youngstown, and Toledo all lie on or near the state border, opening up hopes and promises of other states. But Mid-Ohio? That's a lot of driving to exit the state, and driving in rural Ohio is a good way to lose one'...
Man Loses Phillies-Brewers Bet and Goes Homeless For a Week
Two D.C. area men bet over which team would finish with more wins in 2007, the Phillies or the Brewers. The Phillies finished with more wins. As a result, Chris Jollay, a 36 year old Brewers fan, lost and lived as a homeless man for a week....
Ashley Harkleroad And Her Strategically Placed Towel Photos Are Now Available For Your Perusal
Lately, there's been much clamoring around the internet about tennis steamstress Ashley Harkleroad's upcoming Playboy spread this month. With good reason, of course. Based on her recent ESPN the Mag interview about the shoot, she seems affable, confident, and very into herself:...
Brady Quinn: Bringing People Together Of All Persuasions
It's only speculation as to how many gay relationships have been started because of Brady Quinn. After all, his photo has been used to promote the M4M gay dating service for a couple of months now on Facebook pages across our great land....
Unfortunately, Being An Unrepentant Moron Is Not A Crime
Last week, there was a horrible story about two female St. Louis Cardinals' fans who were struck by a car while crossing the street on the way home from the Cards-Phillies series at Citizens Bank Park. One of the women died due to her injuries....
To Watch Tonight
Hard to believe that all of this occurred in Ohio ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Oscar Diaz vs. Delvin Rodriguez, at Norman, Okla. (10 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; James Toney vs. Hasim Rahman, for vacant NABO heavyweight title, at Temecula, Calif. (11 p.m., ET). Still over earlier than the All-Star Game. [FSN]...
Camby Trade: Mark Warkentien is no Garry Kasparov
So the Denver Nuggets traded the only guy on their roster who sometimes kinda-sorta plays defense — Marcus Camby, the 2007 Defensive Player of the Year — to the Los Angeles Clippers for...wait, what was that again? The option to exchange second-round picks with the Clips in 2010 and a $10 million tr...
Gisele Bundchen's Buttock-Baring Shorts Can Finally Be Seen As They Were Originally Intended
Plenty of online pants-stirring commotion occurred a few months ago when photos of Tom Brady's girlfriend Gisele Bundchen getting a butt-buff were loosed upon the internet masses. Finally, V magazine's fall issue was released and the photos of Gisele doing her whole giraffe-wearing-Daisy Dukes routi...
Marbury's Head Tattoo Reveals Itself To The Cheap Sneaker-Hungry Masses
Here it is, in all of its brand-pate'n glory, with nary a photoshop magician in sight. Starbury took some time to speak with announcers about his new fashionable (and cheap!) head tat during the Cleveland Cavaliers/New York Knicks summer league game. It's probably as subtle as you can get for a head...
This Has Become One Famous Wingnut
By now you've seen the exquisite tirade of Wichita Wingnuts manager Kash Beachamp, who executed both the smelly shoe and the armpit maneuver in an argument with a home plate umpire in an Independent American Association game last week. Well, the commotion has still not died down. Who would have thou...
Mmmmmmmmmm Tour de Donut
Without the benefit of steroid scandals or testicular cancer survivors, this year's Tour de France isn't getting a whole lot of attention from the American sporting world. And don't you worry, I'm not paying it any mind either. Not while there's a Tour de Donut going on. The 32-mile MissouriIllinoi...
The All-Seeing Eye Thinks Your Hair Looks Fine
The curtailing of the About Last Night... feature eliminates some of my opportunity for monkeyshines (that is, gratuitous monkey references shoehorned into otherwise putatively sports-related posts). But this Sauron-esque picture from last night's Marlins-Dodgers games caught my, uh, notice. Best u...
Introducing Your New Weekend Crew
It is my distinct pleasure to announce the formation of a new stable of writers who will be handling weekend duties here at Deadspin. Beginning in August we'll be featuring four new primary weekend writers, as well as two tremendous swing contributors who will presumably write for the site while not...
Philadelphia's Excitement For Elton Brand Begets Resourceful Fashion Design Work
This Sixer fan, also swept up in Elton Brand fever, has no time to wait for local sporting goods outlet stores to get the newest prized jersey in stock, obviously....