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Elsewhere...
• Morris Peterson gets ejected from the Raptors/Nets game for slapping Vince Carter in the face. I didn't see it, so I can't comment, but I can't think of too many reasons to not slap Vince Carter. Sorry. I'm not a Vince Carter fan....
Week In Deadspin: We Never Once Said "Vin-SANITY." So You Know.
• Hey, there was a moderately enjoyable college football game this week. • Clinton Portis is the man, and, in case you were wondering, his mom rules too. • Support your local athletes, always, particularly if you're Stuart Scott. • Ichiro could be a killer, you know. • So you know, this guy is not...
Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....
Man Hugs For Sponsors
Our advertisers are our friends, and we give them big manly two-pats-on-back hugs, even if we can't afford any of their products and they occasionally make our site load slowly on Explorer. Here's this week's rundown of sponsors, and here's how you can become one....
Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Laura Quinn Gives Us A Fiesta Of Pain
Thoughts while watching about three hundred shots of Brady Quinn's sister, Laura, during the Fiesta Bowl last night: 1. We kind of miss that TV show, Xena, Warrior Princess. 2. We thought A.J. Hawk was some sort of famous skateboarder. Apparently we're confused. 3. Brent Musberger is still al...
Week In Deadspin: Closing Out '05
• Anna Benson will gun your ass down. • Jeff Reardon's medicine gets him in trouble, and not just with the international closer crime syndicates. • The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals says goodbye to Sun Devil Stadium and its treasure trove of memories. • Darren Prince gave us a very nice ho...
Must Acknowledge Advertisers ... Must Acknowledge Advertisers ...
We thank our advertisers for their "support" and hope they don't mind that we're too poor to buy their products. If you want to be a part of this little parade of paddy-cake, go here, we're told....
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included:...
Some End Of Year Comment Invites Available
We're about to shut it down for 2005 — we're doing a half day tomorrow and will be off until January 3 — so we wanted to encourage anyone without a comment invitation to state your case to [email protected] to join the party in 2006....
Advertiser Shout Outs: Our Cherry Is Popped
For some reason, our site has sponsors now. Yeah, we're as surprised as you. We thank our advertisers for their "support" and hope they don't mind that our first advertiser shout-out post is somewhat sheepish and apologetic. We'll do better next time, promise. (Though we just found out — the second ...
Happy Holidays From Deadspin (And Clinton Portis)
We here at Deadspin would like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a most pleasant holiday season. We'll be back Tuesday morning, but until then, Clinton Portis and all sides of his fragmented personality would like to say hello. So, hello. Tell your family we said hey....
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Someone Stole Chad Johnson's Reindeer
Never will you see someone who just scored a touchdown walk to the sidelines with such dejection. Chad Johnson took one to the house against Buffalo, but could not find his reindeer afterwards....
Week In Deadspin: Idiot, Idiot Everywhere
It's half-day Friday before the holidays, so we're wrapping up for the day. Honestly, you should leave too; traffic's gonna suck....
Still Selling T-Shirts. We'll Make This Quick.
We're just about done with these, promise....
Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....
Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....