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Some Folks Call It A Slider, Mmm-Hmm
Imagine, say, Michael Brown getting another job in disaster relief, or, maybe, Harriet Miers being renominated to the Supreme Court. Pretty much the real-world equivalents of Grady Little being hired as manager of the Dodgers yesterday....
The Face Of Lesbian Cheerleader Terror
All right, thanks to Gambling911.com (now that Oddjack's gone, there are all kinds of sites we're gonna have to keep an eye on), we have a picture of Melissa Holden, the woman punched by Carolina Panthers cheerleader Renee Thomas after Holden interrupted Thomas' and Angela Keathley's Commode Copul...
Get Your Defunct T-Shirts
We're not much for handicapping — or, for that matter, the Heisman Trophy in general, which lost most of its charm for us when they moved it from the Downtown Athletic Club after September 11 — but we have to say that if you're looking for a potential collector's item, you musn't look much farther...
The Lady The Lesbian Cheerleader Punched
Anybody still care about the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders? Anyone? Jeez, all right, all right, not all at once, people, settle down, sheesh....
Why Steve Smith Will Always Be Second
A friend of ours yesterday was asking us why, in our unprofessional opinion, Chad Johnson receives so much love for his touchdown celebrations while the Panthers' Steve Smith, who scores more touchdowns, catches more passes and does his own fair share of creative celebrating, is barely noticed. We...
Week In Deadspin: Friends In High Places
• Boy, do we have some athlete run-in stories for you. • What's funnier than Jeremy Shockey celebrating way too early? Not much. • Hey, Michael Irvin and his "friend" had himself an active week. To be fair, we're always getting arrested around Thanksgiving ourselves. • Hmm ... what's Chad Johnson...
Rock (Expletive) Jayhawk
Well, when your supposedly legendary franchise has started the season 2-3, you just lost at home to a team from the WAC and your head coach boss thinks he's actually fooling anyone with that toupee ... sometimes all that will leave you in a foul mood....
Fe Is The Symbol For Iron. So You Know.
It's a pivotal week for Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson. No, no, not the AFC North-deciding game against the longtime nemesis Steelers at Heinz Field, silly. Johnson has officially raised the bar by proclaiming that he will perform the "best touchdown celebration ever" when he scores against Pi...
Athlete Run-Ins: When This Port-A-Potty's Rockin' ...
Today's final athlete run-in story involves Angels first baseman/outfielder/hustle enthusiasts Darin Erstad keeping his cool in a situation that, we'll confess, we'd have considerable trouble with. It comes from Michael in Nebraska:...
Forgive Us Our Indulgence
So forgive us here, but our publisher would murder us if we didn't mention it to you: We have a book. It's called Catch, it's a novel and it comes out this Thursday. It's about a high school baseball player, so, you know, we've got a sports peg....
Things To Do In Phoenix When You're Drinking
Phoenix, Ariz. Home of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Birthplace of Barry Bonds. Spot for an unusually high number of UFO Sightings....
More On The Mommie Dearest Sprinter
More info on the guy who ran on the field Sunday to spread his mother's ashes on Lincoln Financial Field, thanks to the suddenly sports-huge folks at The Smoking Gun. Turns out his name is Christopher Noteboom, also known as "Chip," and he cuts a mean mugshot....
Paying Tribute To Dear Old Ma
At last, a fan running on the field story everyone can get behind. During the Eagles game yesterday, an unidentified fan sprinted onto Lincoln Financial Field to spread the ashes of his dead mother onto the grass. Apparently, this is because he liked his mother, rather than vice versa....
The Return Of Grady
You knew it was going to happen, because baseball is just too goofy of a game for it not to: Famed goofus Grady Little could be returning to the dugout. The Los Angeles Dodgers are interviewing Grady for their open managerial position, which makes sense in a certain way, considering the Dodgers ar...
Excuse Our Excretory Humor
OK, we're going entirely from memory here, since we haven't been able to find anything else about the exchange on the Web, but that's fine, we'd like to take credit for seeing it anyway. It will reveal just how puerile we really are....
NFL Roundup: Fore!
• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If t...
Week In Deadspin: Killing The Messengers
• For the last time, please do not let your children go to the University of Miami. • More athlete run-in stories than anyone could possibly handle. • MLB.com and Scott Stapp are here TO ROCK YOU. • Wait ... professors at USC actually expect players to attend class? What kind of racket you people ...
A T.O And Rosenhaus Thanksgiving
Every wonder what a Terrell Owens-Drew Rosenhaus Thanksgiving might have been like? Blogger The Mighty MJD has, and, in what has to be a sports blog first, actually writes short story about it. It's just Owens and Rosenhaus, alone in a room, each silent in their thoughts as they watch Jeff Garcia ...
Happy Thanksgiving, Fellow Consumers!
Well, we're checking out early here today, because it's the day before Thanksgiving, and if we don't get out of here now, we're going to end up spending Turkey Day trapped in this dead, lonely, Alanis Morissette-spewing surburban Starbucks, the only place we can find around here with wireless acce...
Eagles Finally Get A Win!
Well, that settles that, then: Arbitrator Richard Bloch has ruled against Terrell Owens, whose suspension will remain throughout the rest of the season. It has come to the point that the Eagles, frankly, will take any victory they can right now....