affirmed - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch TonightWhat to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ...
• Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2]
• MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN]
• NBA: Eastern Co...

Prepare Thyself For Impending Debut Of Barbaro's Brother. Oy
Just because you have a famous brother doesn't mean that you will approach the heights of greatness yourself, as anyone who has seen a Daniel Baldwin movie will readily attest. We've previously written about Barbaro's younger brother, of course, but now the horse — named Nicanor — is ready to make ...
Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly o...
Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...
About Last Night
What Dee Mirich missed while furiously writing about 200 angry poems ...
• MLB: Barry Bonds asks judge to dismiss perjury charges on the grounds that he didn't understand the questions (laugh track).
• College basketball: Five overtimes? Is that all? I once saw Sister Hazel do eight encores. Baylor ...
There's Something About Mirich
I used to think that I knew what Dee Mirich was writing about. I would read her impassioned, fractured poetry on various horse racing message boards, and nod knowingly. "Yes," I would say to myself, "Angels DO prefer hitching their horses to rainbows." But lately, Dee has been listing toward crazy e...
We approve of horses having dirty names. [Slate]...
