aging Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ways I Torture Myself To Stay Young In The Face
This week, we learned that Peter Thiel, the billionaire and proverbial vampire who bankrupted Gawker through a covert legal war, is apparently interested in harvesting the blood of the young to slow down (or even halt) the aging process. While thematically satisfying, this sounds complicated. And me...
Study: Millennials Shouldn't Worry About Peaking Early
If the headline writers at the Harvard Business Review are hip to the concept of trolling, I’d think that was exactly what they were doing with a recent piece on “generational issues” that claims, “The Problem with Millennials? They’re Way Too Hard on Themselves.”...
The Case Against Pets
Let’s talk about pets. They are made for cuddling. They nuzzle and purr and wiggle. They show their cute little bellies, asking for scratches. When we’re blue, they bring comfort. When they act like silly imbeciles, we make videos of them and share their antics with strangers on the internet. Pets g...
<i>The Final Girls </i>Is The Nadir Of Meta-Horror, Which Is The Nadir Of Real Horror
If you’re a horror fan, you’ve noticed that every few months, there’s a new entry in the genre that’s explicitly marketed to non-fans, with blogs and critics hyping “your new favorite horror film” and granting best-since-whatever status to a certain kind of movie. Think titles like Tucker & Dale vs....
What If The New <i>Star Wars </i>Sucks, Too?
Last night, the third trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered on YouTube and ESPN. Did you shit your dick? I definitely shat my dick. I think the dick-shittingest moment, for me, was when the new Darth Vader guy was doing the Force to the other guy’s brain, but the low-altitu...
Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...
<i>Game Of Thrones </i>Needs To Put Us Out Of Its Misery
Let’s begin by revisiting the best Game of Thrones scene to date. Notes:...
Ed Sheeran's Uncle Jim Sounds Like A Fucking Idiot
Ed Sheeran, who I don’t get, is a man who talks too much and has a penchant for performing British-guitar-guy covers of popular rap songs. Why? Probably because of Ed Sheeran’s idiot Uncle Jim:...
Magic Hat #9 Is Well Past Its Prime
Some people like to show off. This is a boring and undisputed part of the human condition, that we have to share the planet with ostentatiously effective people who are into things like sit-ups and graduate school. Oooh, look at me, I can make weird extra muscles pop out of my stomach! Hey, check ou...
This Is Probably The Worst Beer In The World
From 1973 until 2011, Carlsberg Lager marketed itself as "Probably the best beer in the world." That bald-assed lie made it the shame of Copenhagen, and it led all discerning citizens of the beer-drinking world to question if any Dane could ever be trusted under any circumstance. Of course, sales ...
Fuck Tyga
Tyga's name has been on the blogs and the Twitter a lot lately, and rightfully so: The rapper, a 25-year-old man, is allegedly doing it with hair-saleswoman Kylie Jenner, a 17-year-old Kardashian. Maybe they're just occasionally going out for froyo. Maybe they're fucking. If the latter is true, it's...
Men Should Not Wear Jewelry
Like most other men, you might someday find yourself standing in the glow of flickering department-store lights, tempted by the prospect of wearing jewelry. "Jewelry would make me look powerful—masculine, but sensitive," you might reason, fingering an especially resplendent wallet chain. "Ryan Gos...
Attila Are The Biggest Musical Trolls Of 2014
If you get your music news and gossip from mainstream sources, you'll pick someone other than Attila frontman Chris Fronzak for your 2014 Troll of the Year Award, and you will have made the wrong choice. Your heart may be in the right place. Or, more likely, you've never heard of this guy or the b...
Say Goodbye To <i>Sons Of Anarchy</i> And Its Lousy Soundtrack
One of the great benefits of watching pre-recorded television is that you can fast-forward through terrible theme songs, specifically "This Life," the atrocious roots-rock theme to the FX biker drama Sons of Anarchy. (There's an even worse Celt-ified version from the season partly set in Northern ...
Isolated, Unedited Vocals Of Mariah Carey's Awful Holiday Performance
Remember when Mariah Carey could sing? Most millennials probably can't. "All I Want For Christmas Is You," she sings, but we'd suggest adding "a new voice" to her letter for Santa. Only Rep. Peter King could vocalize something more tone-deaf in New York today....
Foster's: Australian For Fraud
My 11th-grade history teacher opened the first day of class by asking us to write down everything we knew about Christopher Columbus. Of course, we all knew he came to America—or somewhere near America, anyway—in 1492, and his ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The better st...
Taylor Swift's <i>1989</i> Proves That "Pop" Doesn't Mean Anything Anymore
These are trying times to find oneself still riding for Taylor Swift, the Artist. As a celebrity, as a mostly willing punchline, as a cultural nemesis, as a content generator, she's never been bigger or better—this week alone, she's made cat noises, continued stalking her own fans on social media,...
Nasty Dread: Beware The Ersatz Island Schmaltz Of Magic!
It's the rare band that makes Smash Mouth seem edgy by comparison. It's the rare band that makes Sublime seem arty, that makes 311 seem novel, that makes Jack Johnson seem… tolerable. But here we are, and here we go: Magic. Oops, make that Magic!—the exclamation point being one of many red flags ind...
Photographs From the Set of Raging Bull
Time's Lightbox has a photo gallery of Brian Hamill's pictures from Raging Bull. ...
Sympathy For the Devil
Here's a treat—Joe Flaherty's 1981 Inside Sports piece on Jake LaMotta:...