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I’ve Had It Up To Here With Solemn Musical Sequences On TV<em></em>The Americans had its series finale least week and if you’re worried about me spoiling the end for you, please have no fear. I’m not here to shatter your dreams or point out continuity errors. So, without giving any particulars away, I thought the finale was a perfectly fine ending to a well-done se...

Chairlift Becomes Possessed By Satan, Wigs The Fuck Out<em></em> If you’ve ever been skiing, you know that falling off the chairlift is everyone’s worst nightmare. Ah, but what if I told you there’s a whole other KIND of worst chairlift nightmare, one in which the chairlift cries out FUCK THIS, shifts into Hard Reverse, and begins depositing skiers onto the bott...

The Trailer For Stephon Marbury's New Chinese Movie Is Terrifyingly IntenseSince heading overseas in 2010 to begin playing in the Chinese Basketball Association, Stephon Marbury has racked up plenty of nifty achievements—three CBA championships, a statue in his likeness, the exclusive status of a permanent residence permit, a museum dedicated to him, and now a movie about ...

Spoiler-Free Lines From <i>Star Wars: The Force Awakens</i>, Ranked 

13. “We’ve got company.” ...

HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH

That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...

Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)

About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....

In Which We Drink In The Hilarious Naivete Of Red Sox Nation

Michael Schur (aka Ken Tremendous) is smarter and funnier than I'll ever be. That's why I was floored yesterday to see him post this on Twitter:...

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick

I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...