alabama Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

A Skeptic's Guide To The 2012 Heisman Trophy
Remember the lullaby afternoons of September, when we all figured we'd see a Heisman winner who merited the award? Maybe a Geno Smith, slinging the ball all over the yard, or even a Matt Barkley, who despite being named after Big Bird's dog had the right pedigree and weaponry (Robert Woods and Marqu...
![Five-Star Recruit Decommits From Auburn University, Even Though He Got An Auburn Tattoo This Summer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/187mrc4hm3yhxpng.png)
Five-Star Recruit Decommits From Auburn University, Even Though He Got An Auburn Tattoo This Summer [UPDATE]
Linebacker Reuben Foster is the top high school prospect at his position, and one of the best in the country. This summer, he had already rescinded his verbal commitment to the University of Alabama and committed to Auburn University thanks to some recruiting by assistant coach Trooper Taylor—the e...

Georgia Woman Exposes Self, Molests Bar Patrons While Watching SEC Championship Game
Watching a big football game at a bar can be fun. You get to drink beer, cheer loudly, and share in the joy of victory or the pain of defeat with other like-minded fans. That experience is probably what patrons of El Jinete and Friends Sports Grill (!) in Dacula, Ga., were looking for when they set...

AP: Upstart Regional School Has The Honor Of Playing Notre Dame For A National Title
Yes, there is no higher merriment in college football than making fun of Notre Dame. But let's not overlook the joys of taunting the other side of the BCS championship matchup. If only there had been a giant sphygmomanometer hooked up to the deep Confederacy last night, to record the mass blood-pres...

Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game
Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...

Quinton Dial Nearly Decapitated Aaron Murray, Got Away With It
Alabama leads Georgia 10-7 at halftime of the SEC Championship, thanks to a late Crimson Tide field goal that might not have happened if they'd been flagged for this brutal hit on Bulldogs quarterback Aaron Murray. Quinton Dial went after Murray after the QB tossed an interception, blindsiding Mur...

Say This For Newly Former Arkansas Head Coach John L. Smith: He Screwed Only Himself, Never The Help
The University of Arkansas will not be renewing the contract of interim coach John L. Smith, the university announced today, confirming what everyone and his sister knew the minute then-No. 8 Arkansas lost in Little Rock to Louisiana-Monroe on Sept. 8. Smith's team cliff-dove out of the polls, then ...

Alabama Is At The Center Of A Photograph As Horrifying As It Is Puzzling
We received this picture of a reveling goblin-man delighting in fire and emptiness under the subject "ROLL TIDE!" No further information was provided. Aside from the Nightmare at sea level to the right, we are unsure what we are looking at....

Losses By Oregon, Kansas State Ensure All-SEC Title Game
Welp, it happened. Kansas State, once thought unbeatable†, loosed the SI-cover-jinx-aided mother of all bedshits Saturday. Call it the revenge of the Southwest* Conference: Texas A&M downs the No. 1 Crimson Tide last week, Baylor (editor's note: LOL) conks the Wildcats this week. This is agonizingly...

Don't Worry, Rest Of College Football, Alabama's Only Getting The Leading High School Rusher Of All Time Next Year
It's been a good week for college football teams not named "Alabama" because they've been able to bask in the notion, however mistaken, that the gap Alabama between themselves and Alabama is closing. A loss to Texas A&M dropped the Crimson Tide to a previously unthinkable 9-1, and now the team finds...

Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline
Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...

Here's That Alabama Fan's Video Game Meltdown, Set To The Game Footage
Monday, we brought you this, which was amazing: an XBox live gamer freaking out in his game as he watched Bama lose to Texas A&M. Now someone has helpfully set the audio to the actual game footage. Still hilarious....

The Best Passages From <em>ESPN The Magazine's</em> 7,000-Word Feature On The Alabama Teabagging Video
You remember when Brian Downing teabagged a passed-out Garrison Stamp after last year's BCS title game, right? Of course you do, because the entire thing was breathtakingly stupid and cruel and hilarious in its own awful way, and you've probably watched the video of the incident a dozen times....

Here's A Radio Ad Using Smooth R&B To Sell Tactical Firearms To Women
The Paul Finebaum radio program is a must-listen on Mondays after Alabama losses, but almost as good as the panicked redneck phone calls are Finebaum’s advertisers. Here’s one we’re told has been running a few months, from Hoover’s Tactical Firearms in Birmingham. (That’s the gun range that made ne...

A Crimson Tide Fan Watches Alabama Lose And Melts Down In His <i>Modern Warfare 3</i> Game
Online multiplayer is great for exposing you to a wide swath of humanity. Most of that swath is 13-year-old boys hurling slurs, but there's other stuff too. Like this, from a game of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, played Saturday evening just as Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M were finishing up thei...

Texas A&M And Johnny Manziel Working Together To Trademark "Johnny Football"
Darren Rovell—who else?—has the news that on the heels of Texas A&M's upset of Alabama, the school is working in conjunction with the Manziel family to trademark the totally distinctive "Johnny Football" nickname the upstart quarterback has recently earned....

Deshazor Everett's Name And His Interception To Beat Alabama Are Equally Fantastic
As subplots go, the Alabama-Texas A&M game had an unexpected one from the end of the first quarter through the tense final minute: an errant extra point. Up until the decisive few seconds, when a Bama penalty on an Aggies punt killed the dregs of game clock, there lingered the question of whether...

Welcome Back, College Basketball: Two Games Ended In Excellent Buzzer Beaters On The First Night Of The Season
It wasn't all imperiled basketball players and disappointed veterans on college basketball's first night back. Above, Alabama and South Dakota St. were tied at 67 going into the final possession when Trevor Lacey got the ball and—well, you should just watch it. Spoiler alert: they didn't go into o...

Nick Saban Cutout Stolen From Gas Station, Returned To Gas Station; Nation Exhales
We can barely keep up with all the breaking Nick-Saban-cutout news. We were just processing the horrible reports—wondering how to tell the children, really—that a life-size cutout of the Alabama coach was stolen from a Tuscaloosa gas station early this morning. We were roughly two-thirds through Küb...