ale Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Sale Is Really Mad That The White Sox Won't Let A Kid Hang Out In The Clubhouse All Day

Starting pitcher Chris Sale is a valued player in good standing with the White Sox, so he’s using his position to call out the team’s handling of Adam LaRoche and his 14-year-old son, Drake. This morning, Sale had both LaRoches’ jerseys hanging in his locker, and accused White Sox vice president Ken...

Here's The Champions League Quarter-Final Draw

After a fairly uneventful Champions League Round of 16 (save the wildness in Bayern Munich vs. Juventus, of course), we now know who will be competing against one another in the quarter-finals. Things are about to get a lot more interesting....

Ice-Cold Coutinho Skates By Defense, Daggers Manchester United With A Sweet Chip

Here is Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho easing down the Manchester United flank, floating into the box, then coolly flipping the ball over keeper David De Gea with about as much difficulty and exertion as you or I would jog out to the grocery store to pick up a carton of chocolate milk:...

Taurean Prince Shoves Rico Gathers After Heated Exchange

Things are not going well for the five-seeded Baylor Bears right now. They are currently losing to 12-seed Yale, and their players are openly going after each other during timeouts. ...

Chinese Basketball Players Brawl With Fans Outside Team Hotel

The Chinese Basketball Association finals are underway, and the Sichuan Blue Whales hold a 2-1 series lead after beating the Liaoning Leopards in Game 3. When the Leopards returned to their team hotel after the loss, they found a group of Blue Whales fans waiting for them, at which point a big ol’ b...

Former Yale Basketball Captain Plans To Sue University Over Sexual Misconduct Expulsion

An attorney representing Jack Montague, the former captain of the Yale University men’s basketball team who was expelled for sexual misconduct last month, has issued a statement claiming that Montague was wrongfully punished by the university. The statement refers to Montague as a “whipping boy,” an...

Donald Trump Praises Missouri's Football Teams In Bizarre Speech

In the past twelve months, the state of Missouri has watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles while its lone Division I-FBS team nearly went on strike due to racism on campus; they went 5-7 on the season. The two FCS programs? Missouri State’s football team went 1-10, while SEMO went 4-7. Donald ...

Tottenham Fans, Rejoice! Your Team Got Beat Down Today!

Even the most fervent Tottenham fan had to admit that it looked shaky out there for a bit. By the end, though, supporters could be proud of the scoreline their boys had earned. To further their hopes at ending the season with the trophy they so covet, Spurs’ players had one objective in today’s Euro...

Man Endorses Boss

Heh, Jalen Rose Made A Good Michael Beasley 420 Joke

Heh....

Look At This Goalkeeper Just Punch The Ball Into His Own Net

Málaga goalkeeper Carlos Kameni is usually really good. Yesterday, when trying to deal with a pretty straightforward Valencia cross, he did something really bad:...

Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried

While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...

Duke's Most Hateable Player Trips Another Opponent

Surely there is a facility in some shadowy corner of the Research Triangle where they produce these monsters, and Grayson Allen is just the latest in a long line of Blue Devils seemingly designed to make you angry. The Duke guard is very, very good, of course, leading the team in scoring with so man...

Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]

In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...

Chaco Giménez Shoots From Goddamn Jupiter, Scores

If Alessandro Florenzi’s wondergoal in September came from Mars, Chaco Giménez’s strike from even further out can only be described as originating from the next planet back....

Stupid Little Piece Of Metal Bounces Valencia Youth Team From Tournament

Valencia and Chelsea met today in the UEFA Youth League, which is basically the Kiddie Champions League. The Round of 16 match came down to penalties, and Chelsea were declared winners after scoring all five of their spot kicks. Problem is, Valencia never actually missed any of their penalties, eith...

The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True

There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...

Sorry, Edin Džeko, But The Post Can't Explain How You Missed That Wide-Open Net 

“Post, baby, how are you gonna do me like that?” Roma’s Edin Džeko appears to whisper to the goal’s woodwork after his horrendous miss. “You know I love you, Edin,” the post probably responded, “but that’s all on you.”...

Sad Dale Jr. Fan Is Sad

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Aritz Aduriz Thumps The Bejesus Out Of Ball, Scores From Way Too Far Out

If you ever wanted to know how hard one could kick a soccer ball and yet still maintain the necessary control to steer it goalwards, this volleyed goal Athletic Club’s Aritz Aduriz just scored is a good case study:...