ale Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
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A-Rod Apologizes To Fans With Dopey Handwritten Letter
This is wonderful. Alex Rodriguez has released a handwritten(!) letter in which he apologizes to all of his fans for, uh, whatever it is we've all decided he needs to apologize for. This idea was surely thought up by some overpaid brand consultant. "Alex, our data shows that baseball fans associate ...
Delanie Walker's Girlfriend Blows Up His Life From His Own Instagram
Titans tight end Delanie Walker likely had a terrible Valentine's Day. From the looks of things, his girlfriend Racine Lewin posted a photo of the couple from Walker's Instagram Saturday, along with a big wall of text that accused Walker of frequently cheating, and announced that Lewin's pregnant wi...
How To Cook Valentine's Day Dinner, Like You Damn Well Should
The first thing to know about cooking for Valentine's Day is that the list of occasion-appropriate food preparations you'll find below was made in consultation with a woman, the only blemish on whose otherwise immaculate record of good taste and judgment is her baffling and indefensible decision to ...
How To Deal With Valentine's Day, No Matter Who You Are
This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday (FYI: It’s tomorrow), making it awfully convenient for those of you planning a romantic weekend getaway and a three-day headache for the rest of us. Let’s face it: This holiday isn’t the greatest no matter your relationship status. (The media/retail ons...
Court Docs Allege Tony Bosch Spent MLB's Money On Strippers And Clubs
Two years after it was first broken, the Biogenesis saga in South Florida continues to reveal hilarious details about how Major League Baseball conducts business. The Miami New Times reports on the criminal case against Lazer Collazo, an associate of Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch, who is charged wit...
Cardale Jones Has An Important Update About Crushing Kids At Video Games
Back in January, Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones visited some kids at the hospital. One of the kids unwisely hopped on the sticks like Jones was going to take it easy on him in the NCAA football video game. Jones did not take it easy, and beat the kid by a reported score of 91-35. Now, more tha...
At Least 14 Killed In Egyptian Soccer Riot; Fans Post Photos Of Victims
According to Egyptian state television, a soccer riot that broke out in Cairo today left at least 14 dead (Update: authorities are now saying that the official death toll is at 22). The clash was between supporters of Egyptian Premier League club Zamalek and security personnel at Air Defense Stadium...
Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow
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Genesee Cream Ale Is A B-Minus Beer That Comes In An A-Plus Can
Last night my wife and I celebrated the end of another day of Boston's utter surrender in the face of back-to-back snowstorms—the trains haven't run anywhere near on time in over a week, yet this cute little do-nothing town still thinks it can somehow pull off the 2024 Olympics—by hiding out in th...
How To Buy A New Car Without Getting Ripped Off
So you've finally made it to the point where you can treat yourself to a new car. But you're past the point of searching Craigslist for thousand-dollar beaters; it's time to put the big-boy pants on and head to the dealership. Here's how to go car-shopping without getting taken for a ride....
A-Rod Turns To Unlikely Source To Assist His Comeback: Barry Bonds
At 39 and having missed the entire 2014 season due to suspension, Alex Rodriguez is attempting an improbable comeback. His skills were already rapidly declining in 2013—in 44 games he posted his lowest batting average and slugging percentage since 1995, and his fielding has been getting worse for ...
Just How The Damn Hell Did Arsenal Pull That Off?
A few hours before the NFC Championship, an ocean away, a game of real football took place in England's Premier League between second-place Manchester City and fifth-place Arsenal. I'll spare you the drama: the good guys won....
Christina McHale Pukes All Over Australian Open Tennis Court, Still Wins
American tennis pro Christina McHale overcame several episodes of puking during the third set against France's Stephanie Foretz to win her Australian Open first round match today 6-4, 1-6, 12-10. It was a gutsy performance, one ESPN showed in all its slow-motion vomiting glory....
How U.S. Soccer Ensures The Fort Lauderdale Strikers Never Get A Chance
Last year, the Fort Lauderdale Strikers were purchased by a Brazilian consortium looking to turn the team into a "global powerhouse." Some of their bandied-about strategies for ginning up fan interest include drone-delivered concessions at the stadium, piggy backing off the club's history from the...
Dumb People Are Mad At Cardale Jones, For Some Reason
Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones had a lo-fi press conference in a high school gymnasium today to announce that he is returning to school. To normal people, this was fine. To certain members of the media, this was an outrage....
Cardale Jones Isn't Done Playing School Just Yet
Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones, who won us over long before he ascended from a third-stringer to a national champion, announced today that he will return to the Buckeyes next season....
A Belgian Beer From Quebec, Perfect For The End Of The World
This marks the first year in at least the past 10 that I have not resolved to learn even the basics of a foreign language. My monolinguism is deplorable, considering that I aim to communicate for a living and have had plenty of opportunity to learn other tongues over the years. But I've never made...