ale Page 230 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Ovechkin Accused Of Spitting In Opponent's Face
A little run-in between Ovechkin and Blue Jackets winger/agitator Derek Dorsett on Saturday went mostly unnoticed: Dorsett ran Ovechkin, Ovechkin got in his face, the two received matching minors, then everybody went home to celebrate New Year's Eve. But now Dorsett is accusing Ovechkin of spittin...

ShortCenter: ESPN Shows Us Its Tail Lights
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Winter Of A-Rod Continues: He's Dating A Wrestler/Playboy Model/Muscly Blonde
We always suspected Rodriguez's "blood-spinning treatment" was just a metaphor for nailing another toned blonde off the A-Rod girlfriend assembly line. (Hair color can be artificial, and come to think of it, so can the muscles.) Rodriguez has been out and about with Torrie Wilson, a grande dame of p...

ShortCenter: Jalen Rose Gets Emphatic About the Heat, Then Asks You Out
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Horrible Quotes About A Soccer Player's Torn Scrotum
From Andy Hessenthaler, manager for League Two side Gillingham:...

MLB's New Security Chief, A Former SF Giant, Once Denied Monica Lewinsky Entry To The Oval Office
It's weird to think about MLB executives doing anything other than MLB-executive-ing. I can't think of Bud Selig cutting timber, for example. But a story in the Washington Post introduces us to Bill Bordley, the league's new chief of security, who pitched for the Giants before joining the Secret Ser...

<em>New York Times</em>: College Football Is In Crisis, What With The Resume Padding And Child Rape And Things Like That
Today's New York Times writes up the resignation of Yale football coach Tom Williams, caught in a resume-padding scandal after he claimed to have been a former Rhodes Scholarship finalist. A two-bylined investigation by the Times in November, as Yale quarterback Patrick Witt was dropping out of the ...

Yale Doesn't Want Vince Lombardi Coaching Its Football Team
Or his analogue Tom Williams, who was canned by Eli today for padding his résumé, just like Lombardi had. Lombardi didn't correct claims that he had gone to law school. Williams had said he was a Rhodes scholar finalist—he was not—and he had said he played on the 49ers practice squad—he had not....

The Vancouver Riot Couple Is Still In Love
Six months might not seem a lot of time before doing a "where are they now?" But considering he was an Australian stand-up comedian/bartender who seduced a naive Canadian girl with his exotic accent, it's surprising and heartwarming to hear that they're still together and living in Melbourne. [Puck ...

The Chiefs Just Fired Todd Haley
Kansas City announced it on their website. They haven't announced an interim replacement, but Haley had Romeo Crennel AND Jim Zorn on his staff. So many possibilities! (UPDATE: It's Crennel.)...

The Feel-Good Scam Of Owning The Packers
For just the fifth time in their 92-year history, the publicly owned Green Bay Packers launched a stock offering this week, issuing at least 250,000 shares to anyone who wants to count themselves as an owner of an NFL team. It's an irresistible offer for a devoted fan, and within 11 minutes of stock...

Orlando Reporter Asks Resigning Magic CEO If He Really Said That Thing I Made Up
This morning the Magic held a hastily arranged press conference to announce the retirement of CEO Bob Vander Weide after nearly 20 years with the club. Team officials maintained that the move had been planned for months, and had nothing to do with a 1 a.m. phone call Vander Weide made to Dwight Ho...

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...

Bobby Valentine May Or May Not Have Invented The Wrap Sandwich
The Red Sox announced Bobby Valentine as their new manager yesterday, and that's a hell of a thing. Good for them. But Valentine brings with him many unanswered questions. Can he prevent another collapse? Can he get up to speed on innovations in MLB since 2002? And did he really invent the wrap?...

Checking In With Albert Pujols's Agent, Who Threatened To Sue Us Before He Knew What We Were Going To Write
A week ago we published some not very nice things about superagent Dan Lozano, but not before we were threatened with a lawsuit. Hours before publishing, Lozano's attorney issued itemized denials of a handful of facts we included in our story—and denials of many more that we did not. ...

ShortCenter: Bobby Valentine Brings Accountability, Fake Mustache To The Red Sox
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Alexis Sanchez Scored A Nifty Little Goal For Barcelona Today
Didn't take long for the reigning Best Club Team In The World to bounce back from an unexpected loss to Getafe over the weekend. Three days, actually. Against patsy Rayo Valllecano....

Bobby Valentine Is The New Manager Of The Boston Red Sox
Logically, as one man accused of presiding over a boozy clubhouse leaves town, one accused of presiding over a gang of loafing potheads enters....

Let's Revisit The Time Dale Hunter Earned The Then-Longest Suspension In NHL History
No one ever accused Bruce Boudreau of lacking fire. (N.B. "Fucking shitbums.") It seems Caps execs are succeeding fire with fire, tapping Dale Hunter, who amassed the equivalent of two-and-a-half full days in the penalty box during his NHL career. Hunter, by all accounts, is a gentleman off the ic...

The Capitals Axed Lovable "Fat Fuck" Coach Bruce Boudreau
You'll recall that Alex Ovechkin, the supremely talented, supremely underachieving, similarly fat Caps winger, called Boudreau a "fat fuck" after being benched late in a game less than a month ago. Things have not gone well since....