angel Page 139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Gerald Green Dunked The Lakers Back Into Their Mausoleum
The shit-ass Lakers are now 0-5 after dropping a home game to the not-shit-ass Phoenix Suns last night. While Kobe Bryant was out there racking up 39 points on 37 (37! Thirty-seven!) shots, Suns swingman and dunk specialist Gerald Green was yamming on the Lakers without mercy. ...
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...
This Set Play From The Clippers Is Beautiful And Unfair
The Clippers lost to the Kings 98-92 yesterday, but they came out ahead on style points after running one of the prettiest plays of the young season late in the fourth quarter....
We Have An Actual Kobe Bryant Highlight To Show You
Kobe went as M.J. for Halloween....
Nick Young Dressed Up As The Best <em>Chappelle's Show</em> Sketch
Let's take this opportunity to clarify something: The best Chappelle's Show sketch was Charlie Murphy's stories about Rick James. There's no need to be contrarian about this....
DeAngelo Hall Tore His Achilles When He Slipped While Getting Pizza
The NFL's had a weird spate of injuries this season, on top of the regular injuries that happen every game. Stephen Tulloch and Lamarr Houston tore their ACLs celebrating; Detroit Lions tight end Joseph Fauria hurt himself trying to stop his (adorable) puppy from peeing in the house; and yesterday, ...
Steve Ballmer Comes On Strong With The Embarrassing Dadness
Clippers owner Steve Ballmer was doing his Steve Ballmer thing throughout his team's home opener, but the highlight of his hootin' and hollerin' came right after the final whistle, when Ballmer wielded his daddish intensity (dadtensity) to embarrass and frighten his son, as all good dads know how to...
Kobe To Dwight Howard: "Soft Motherfucker, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
It was plainly clear that Kobe Bryant called Dwight Howard "soft" while shit-talking his former teammate on opening night, but now, thanks to an intrepid Instagram user who was sitting courtside at the game, we know that Kobe also called Dwight a "bitch-ass nigga."...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....
Clippers Release Video To Remind Us Donald Sterling Isn't The Owner
Yesterday, the Los Angeles Clippers released a new hype video to start the new season. The message: Buy tickets and come to our games, because Donald Sterling doesn't own the team anymore!...
Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble
Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of t...
Lakers Rookie Julius Randle Breaks Leg In First NBA Game
In a 90-108 loss to the Houston Rockets in their season opener, the Los Angeles Lakers looked about as underwhelming and stagnant as everyone feared they would be. What's already shaping up to be a rough season in L.A. got even worse when rookie forward Julius Randle, the seventh overall pick in thi...
Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....
Back Injury Forces Steve Nash Out For Entire 2014–15 Season
The bad back that has plagued Steve Nash his entire career has knocked him out for the entire season before it even begins, the Lakers announced Thursday night. Nash suffered the latest re-aggravation—I shit you not—while carrying some luggage....
Chris Douglas-Roberts Is Bringing Short Shorts Back To The NBA
Chris Douglas-Roberts signed a one-year deal with the Clippers, and is taking advantage of the opportunity to inflict untold horrors on the basketball-loving public. Douglas-Roberts asked for medium-sized shorts. Functionally, those are short shorts....
Jeanie Buss Goes In On "Losers" Who Don't Want To Play With Kobe
Things aren't going so great for the Los Angeles Lakers right now. Their head coach is dead set on implementing a caveman brand of basketball that may very well turn the Lakers into the worst team in the NBA, and a recent story by ESPN's Henry Abbott painted Kobe Bryant as a self-sabotaging sociopat...