animals Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cat Gets Loose During Basketball Game, Evades Dog Mascot
Israel is full of stray cats, so pure numbers say it was a matter of time before one of them ended up on the court during a Maccabi Tel Aviv game. The cat panicked, unable to handle the transition game and the slippery floor, and was set upon by Donny the Dog, Maccabi's mascot. Kitty escaped, thou...
Alex Ovechkin Picked Norfolk State (And So Did A Hairless Cat)
Everyone needs to take back all the mean things they said about Alex Ovechkin's third-grade napkin scrawl of a bracket. He nailed the Norfolk State over Mizzou upset, and appears to have them advancing to the Elite Eight....
The Marlins Are Testing The Safety Of Their Fish Tank By Throwing Baseballs At It
I love me some animal welfare, but can't get too worked up by the Marlins having a tank filled with live fish embedded in the backstop of the new Marlins Park. For one, fish are dumb. For another, the other option, the ocean, is not exactly a paradise. There are predators and seaquakes and boats and...
Jack, The Georgetown Bulldog, May Need Knee Surgery
At eight years old, Jack is no spring chicken. But he recently injured his leg jumping to the couch, and is going for a second opinion to see if surgery will be required. Not a great day for the Hoyas, who won a tournament bracket based on tuition. Not a great day for Jack, because he's a Bulldog an...
It Is Entirely Possible That Chris Kaman Killed This Cat Just To Make A Point About The Schedule
Kaman and the Hornets are playing the Bobcats tonight. So naturally Kaman took to Twitter to pose with a dead bobcat. This requires a very important question, any answer to which leads to further questions: where did he get a dead bobcat? Did he borrow it from a friend? Did he already have it in his...
Giants And Diamondbacks Wait Out 41-Minute Bee Delay
A cloud of bees settled near the Giants dugout at the D-Backs training facility in Scottsdale, halting play until the grounds crew came up with a brilliant plan. They bought a bunch of lemonade and cotton candy from the food stands, smeared it on two golf carts, and used that to lure the bees away. ...
Marlins Park Now Has Fish
And so the assorted tangs and bettas have been moved to their home, their prison, their eternal resting place behind home plate at the new Marlins Park. There they shall live and swim in circles without ever knowing the open seas or passionate baseball fans, until such time as natural causes or a ...
Canucks Fan Throws Large Salmon Onto Ice To Honor Dead Son
There's nothing more tragic in life than an uncompleted mission. So when Roger Paquette, from Nanaimo, BC, attended Saturday's Leafs/Canucks game with a five-pound Chinook salmon strapped to his body, he was only doing what his son never lived to: throw a fish on the ice in the middle of a hockey ...
The Guy Whose Neighbor Got Arrested For Eating Cats Had Some Interesting Things To Say
Per Bakersfield Now's report: "I heard a cat cry. It was a weird cry, real loud," neighbor Joe Nuno said. "I smelled cooking. It smelled like some awful meat."...
Looking For Love On Valentine's Day At Westminster
I have a girlfriend and a cat, and at Westminster I feel like I'm cheating on both. When's the last time you fell in love at first sight? When your heart and soul was completely handed over within seconds of meeting someone? When you and a complete stranger fell into a slobbery make-out session, wit...
Handjobs, Butt-To-Butt Action, And Other Sex Secrets Of The Champion Show Dog
For his new book, Show Dog: the Charmed Life and Trying Times of a Near-Perfect Purebred, Josh Dean spent more than a year following a champion show dog named Jack, a young Australian Shepherd. In the following excerpt, Jack—who is owned by a single mother from Pennsylvania named Kimberly Smith—trie...
Lapdogs And Luxury Boxes: A New-Look MSG Welcomes The Westminster Dog Show
James Dolan hates this dog....
A Fair-And-Balanced Look At What Fox Called “The Greatest Live Premier League Match In US Television History”
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
There Is A Cat On The Pitch At Anfield For The Liverpool-Tottenham Match
A kitty delayed action in today's Liverpool-Tottenham Hotspur match, inevitably doing a cat's duty of ridding the establishment of rats after having heard Liverpool striker Luis Suarez was back in action after his suspension for racism. [ESPN2]...
Here's All The Cute Animals You'll See In Tonight's Super Bowl Commercials
Animals (anthropomorphized or otherwise) are a mainstay trope of TV advertising, and you'll see plenty of them during tonight's Super Bowl. Here's all the cute ones (and a few not-so-cute) you'll be seeing tonight....
A Treasure Trove Of Bat-Killing Stories For Your Super Bowl Bye Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....
What If Tim Tebow Had A Baby With The Panda On Yao Ming's Lap?
The answer to the question you didn't know you were asking....
Yao, Panda. Panda, Yao.
Yo, panda, real talk for a second: I cannot get enough of you posing with basketball players wearing the Official China Panda Blue Smock. It's like, they're so big and goofy and you're so little and fuzzy and greyscale, and they've always got that wonderful little smock to avoid rubbing their sweaty...