ant Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is Mayonnaise An Instrument?
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Zlatan Ibrahimović Doesn't Even Know Who You Are, Bro
And that look on his face says "c'mon, you know who I am, buddy."...

Jim Harbaugh Doesn't <i>Always</i> Wear Khakis
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Report: Broken Old Mummy Kobe Bryant Out For Season
Kobe Bryant injured his right shoulder Wednesday night against the Pelicans; now, ESPN's Ramona Shelburne is reporting that he'll miss the rest of the season with a torn rotator cuff. Neither Kobe nor the Lakers have confirmed, yet; there's still some talk of uncertainty over whether he'll opt for ...

Remembering The Time A Manchester United Player Kung-Fu Kicked A Fan
With all this focus on the unimaginably dumb scandal that has swallowed the brains of the stupids in the sports world, it's good to remember that there was once a time when people were justifiably shocked at behavior during a sporting event. Like the time Manchester United great Eric Cantona jumped ...

Sal Paolantonio Has Found The Real<i> </i>Victim Of Ballghazi
We still have nine days until the Super Bowl, everyone. Mark Brunell getting upset over the possibility of Tom Brady fibbing is not the nadir of Ballghazi, though that'd be nice. On this morning's Colin Cowherd radio atrocity, Sal Paolantonio remixed a classic hand-wringing angle—Think of the ch...

Celtics Beat Trail Blazers On Sloppiest Game-Winner Of The Year
Down two to the Trail Blazers with under 10 seconds remaining, the Celtics were relying upon Jared Sullinger to get them a crucial basket. That should tell you all you need to know about how good they are, that Brad Stevens looked up and down his bench for his best option and settled upon Sullinger....

Tinder Girl's Icebreaker: I Fucked Odell Beckham Jr.
Well, if you match with Stephanie, you'll immediately have a way to start the conversation....

Long-Limbed Kevin Durant Obliterates Marcin Gortat With Dunk
It is a good thing that Marcin Gortat is a goofy-ass guy with funny hair, who chills watching porn on Saturday night, and has a humvee and pig to play with, because this is the kind of dunk that could ruin a man without a balanced perspective on life. ...


The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane
You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL M...

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...

The Hawks Had A Choir Introduce The Starting Lineup, And It Was Way Cool
In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the Atlanta Hawks brought in a full choir to sing the starting lineup before yesterday's game against the Detroit Pistons. ...

Just How The Damn Hell Did Arsenal Pull That Off?
A few hours before the NFC Championship, an ocean away, a game of real football took place in England's Premier League between second-place Manchester City and fifth-place Arsenal. I'll spare you the drama: the good guys won....

Hey, Can Someone Help This Guy With The Iron Rod Stuck In His Head?
According to the Associated Press, this scene took place in a gas station in a small town in New Zealand. No need to panic or anything, but it would be really chill if someone could just, you know, help this guy out with the whole rod-in-the-head situation....

Bathroom Sex Had At Bull-Riding Event
A tipster who attended a Professional Bull Riders event at Madison Square Garden this weekend sends along the above photo. Allow him to describe the scene:...

Cops: Florida Women's Basketball Player Stole Teammate's Credit Card
University police arrested Florida Gators basketball player Antoinette Bannister Friday, and charged the junior guard with theft of a credit card and fraudulent use of a credit card. Bannister allegedly found the card, which belonged to teammate Viktorija Dimaite, on Jan. 11 in the team's locker roo...

What's Going On With Russell Westbrook And The Media?
Last night Russell Westbrook submitted a line of 17 points, 17 assists, and 15 rebounds—becoming just the fourth player to ever do so—as the Thunder handily beat the best team in the league. He should've been happy—hell, maybe he was—but it didn't stop him from going off on reporters in the post...