ant Page 601 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Thief Breaks Into Popeye's, Eats 16 Slices Of Pie, Gets Tired From Eating All The Pie, Takes Nap, Gets Arrested
A enterprising and hungry man recently committed maybe the most agreeable crime in the history of Baltimore, and surely tested the limits of the Baltimore PD's tactical command units in the process, by breaking into a Popeye's, committing a daring robbery, and then......

Steve Buckhantz Couldn't Tell Whether That Game-Ending Shot Went In Because The Owners Moved Him To The Cheap Seats
We all had a good laugh when Washington Wizards play-by-play man Steve Buckhantz dusted off his patented "dagger!" call despite Trevor Ariza's (very nice looking) airball to end the Wizards' game on Wednesday night. The misplaced enthusiasm was funny but, as we noted at the time, you couldn't really...

Entire School District Locked Down Because Someone Misheard A Fresh Prince Lyric
Life got flip-turned upside down this morning in a suburban Pittsburgh school district. Everyone was chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool—at least until a doctor's office employee called a 19-year-old high school student to confirm an appointment. When the employee heard the student's outgoing v...

Falcons Cut Michael Turner, John Abraham, And Dunta Robinson
Atlanta came within 10 yards of the Super Bowl, but in the salary cap era that's no reason not to blow things up. It wasn't unexpected, by today the Falcons announced the releases of RB Michael Turner, DE John Abraham, and CB Dunta Robinson. It's not fun to say goodbye to three faces of a franchise ...

College Basketball's New Zubaz-Inspired "Uniform Systems" Also Have Sleeves, For Some Reason
It appears that Adidas is not quite finished ruining basketball uniforms across the nation: today the company unveiled its new "adizero uniform system," which six college teams—Cincinnati, Kansas, Baylor, UCLA, Louisville, and the Notre Dame Doublemints—will wear for conference play in March....

"The Dagger Has Been Retracted": Wizards Play-By-Play Man Calls Game-Winner That Wasn't
You can't really blame Steve Buckhantz for this one. From his seat (and from the first angle) it really did look like Trevor Ariza sealed an incredible Wizards comeback against the Pistons and a "Dagger!" was absolutely warranted. Unfortunately, after the first view of the shot there is the second...

Once Upon A Time, They Made Fantasy Movies Like This. <em>Jack The Giant Slayer</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's sort of amazing how low the bar has fallen for big tentpole action/fantasy films. With the rise of 3-D (and, more to the point, 3-D surcharges), spectacle is the minimum entrance requirement, and even that has been watered down to the point of monotony. You can pick your poison, but I've alw...

Did Tom Crean Tell His Indiana Players To Flop Late In Last Night's Loss To Minnesota? Here's What He Said, According To A Lip Reader
Down five with less than 30 seconds remaining last night in Minneapolis, the top-ranked Indiana Hoosiers found themselves in a bind: They needed points, but first they needed the ball. One way to achieve both without losing precious seconds was by somehow drawing an offensive flagrant foul on Min...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Antoine Walker, The Shimmying Chucker
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Photoshop Contest: Desmond Bryant's Derpy Mug Shot
Raiders DT Desmond Bryant was arrested Sunday morning, and charged with criminal mischief. Details are sparse, but the Chronicle reports he was booked for "allegedly going to a neighbor's house inebriated and causing a commotion."...

We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak
A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very rea...

NFL GMs Want To Know If Manti Te'o Is Gay
The NFL scouting combine is an utterly useless event that exists for the sole purpose of maintaining the league's grip on the consciousness of the American sports fan as far into the offseason as possible. We only pay attention to it because we are told to pay attention to it. It's like the Valenti...

Carmelo Anthony Slaps Spencer Hawes, In That Special Carmelo Anthony Way
Last night as most of us were watching Renee Zellweger maybe overdosing onstage at the Oscars, the New York Knicks defeated the Philadelphia 76ers in a semi-important game, since it put an end to New York's four-game skid. The most notable thing that happened, though, was midway through the third q...

Penn State Trustee Anthony Lubrano Says Board Deserves Refund For Freeh Report
You remember Anthony Lubrano: he ran for and won a seat on the Penn State board of trustees amidst the Sandusky firestorm after criticizing the way the school fired Joe Paterno. He was well-known in the community as the namesake of the Penn State baseball field and a four-year varsity letter man in...

Manti Te'o Says That If He Were Still Embarrased By The Whole Fake Girlfriend Thing, He Wouldn't Have Come To The Combine
Remember when Manti Te'o was boring? I remember half-watching the Heisman ceremony in December and thinking that Te'o seemed like a non-entity—someone who made Collin Klein, a man about whom the most interesting facts are the extra "L" in his first name and that he basically didn't touch his wife ...

Guy Who Ran Onto The Court During A Toronto Raptors Game Wearing "Bucket List" Shirt Has Super-Lame Bucket List
Last night, a fan interrupted the Knicks-Raptors game in Toronto—during the fourth quarter, when the teams was within two—by running out on to the court and circling around a bit. His foray was short lived, as you can see in the photo above, and we salute the quick work of security personnel at the ...

FIBA Is Prepared To Say D.C. High School Star Junior Etou Is 18 Years Old, Even Though FIBA Was Sure He's 20
Looks like an already-messy situation on the D.C. hoops scene is about to get messier. Junior Etou, a breakout star at Bishop O'Connell High School in Arlington, Va., is about to turn 18 all over again....

Cliff Paul, Chris Paul’s Suspiciously Clark Kent-Like Twin Brother, Got To Go To All-Star Weekend
Turns out that if you're just a normal, unassuming insurance salesman, and you suddenly discover that you have a long-lost, pro basketball-playing twin brother, then you get to experience all sorts of celebrity perks, like going to the All-Star game last weekend. Must be nice......

Kobe Bryant Guarantees The Lakers Will Make The Playoffs
What do Dwight Howard, Steve Nash, Pau Gasol, and Metta World Peace have in common with Chris Mihm, Chucky Atkins, Lamar Odom, and Caron Butler? If the season ended today, those would be the only two supporting casts in Kobe Bryant's career with which he didn't make the postseason. One of these rost...

The NFL Will Get Rid Of Its Dumbest Rule
On Thanksgiving, Jim Schwartz boned Jim Schwartz by throwing a challenge flag on Justin Forsett's 81-yard touchdown. But really, the NFL boned Jim Schwartz—the rule that you can't challenge a play that's automatically reviewed, and if you try, you're penalized and it's not reviewed, is awful, illogi...