ant Page 656 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....

Robbie Alomar's Canadian Consolation
Forget Cooperstown; Alomar's heading to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame! To give you a sense of its prestige, his co-inductee will be Paul Quantrill. [Globe And Mail]...

Nike's New Kobe Ad Addresses The Timely Theme Of Gunplay
"I'll do whatever it takes to win games," Kobe says in the ad, which you can find in this week's Sports Illustrated. "I don't leave anything in the chamber." That Nike, always on the cutting edge. Full ad below....

What <i>Jimmie Johnson 24/7</i> Doesn't Teach You About NASCAR (Hint: Everything)
Here's what I learned about stock car racing last night: It requires a lot of shuttle runs, garage floors are never dirty, and the people who do it live in gigantic stainless steel kitchens (which are also never dirty.)...

Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....

Angry Indy Cops vs. Drunk Jets Fan: The Video
Video of the "tasered" Jets fan has finally surfaced, and I don't want to spoil it for you, but it looks like at least one Indianapolis police officer is living life on a very thin edge....

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

Pants On The Ground Has Gone Way Too Far
American Idol freakshow "General" Larry Platt and his magnum opus "Pants On The Ground" have become an integral part of the Vikings playoff run. So much so that Platt showed up at the team meeting today, and performed. Video below....

Open Thread: Ohio State-WVU, Kansas-Iowa State, Marquette-'Cuse, Longwood-Savannah State, Etc.
Possible topics for discussion: Evan Turner's 19-10-6 line, whether Andy Katz's prose reads like a Swedish-to-English Babelfish translation, Tyshawn Taylor's Facebook profile, the shock of learning that Lawrence Moten is the Big East's all-time leading scorer, the Morrill Land-Grant Acts....

Prospect Leaves A's To Become Padre, Hopefully An Angel
Grant Desme, one of Oakland's top prospects, is quitting baseball to join the priesthood. Is life without sex really better than life without wins? One thing remains the same: he still doesn't have a shot in hell. [MLB]...

Last Night's Winner: No Comment
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers....

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

Verizon Chick, Revealed! Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering shower beers, heaven's database, Chocodiles, Verizon chick, Band Aids, and more....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, ESPN, And Many More
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

When LT Meets Tim And Eric
Welp...guess those drugs you didn't know you took haven't worn off yet....

Patriots Workers Stopped In Immigration Sting
Gillette Stadium hired dozens of workers to shovel snow from the field, and apparently had them sent in from Guatemala, by way of Rhode Island....