ant Page 700 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hang Onto The Ball, Or Pants?
If you're trying for a foul ball at a game, it's best to make certain that your pants will stay in the proper "wrapped around your waist" position for which they were initially intended. Imagine if this would have happened to poor Steve Bartman....

Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....

Media Approval Ratings: Sal Paolantonio
ESPN's flashy-suited NFL reporter is the WWL's go-to guy when it comes to the headline-grabbing stories that require an Italian hard news punch. "Sal Pal", as he's wont to call himself, is a Philly boy, who's covered everything from Terrell Owens' driveway meltdown, to Spygate, to Vick's dogfighting...

The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...

About Last Night
What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ... • Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom. • NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson. • Agent Zero opts out of...

Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...

The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

Paul Shirley, And The Frustrations Of The NBA Finals In Spain
Former NBA player Paul Shirley is the author of Can I Keep My Jersey?: 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond. He is currently in Spain, and writes today for Deadspin about the difficulty of trying to watch Game 1 of the NBA Finals...

About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...

David Dong Han To Become A Bright Shining Star
The man in this photo who is not Chargers linebacker/performance enhancer Shawne Merriman is a happy young man named David Dong Han. According to DC Sports Bog, Han attended Santana Moss' birthday party and then, unexpectedly, got his Goose on with what appears to be half the league....

What Can You Say Here Except, "Holy Crap"
The truce between cars and bicycles is an uneasy one at best, and is surely broken from time to time; but never more horrifically than seen here. And you are excused for that coffee spit-take. It happened outside of Monterrey, Mexico, near the U.S. border, on Sunday when a drunk driver apparently ...

WHIP It Good, Folks: Fantasy Baseball Continues Unabated
Good news for everyone who likes the fantasy baseball; the Supreme Court has decided not to hear a case filed by MLB (and the Players Association) that would require independent vendors to pay for the use of their statistics....

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...

Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...

How Far We've Come From The Kobe Video
Amazingly, it has been less than a year since the ridiculous Kobe Video broke; look at Kobe now. To this day, we cannot fathom what compelled Kobe to light Bynum up like that to two random dudes he started talking to in the parking lot. We love TheKobeVideo.com; the famously "entrepreneurial" site p...

Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 5
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components — coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle — to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....

Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks...

Dr. Neil Clark Warren Explains The Rare Chemistry Between Kobe Bryant And Pau Gasol
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....