ant Page 715 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBA Roundup: You Win This Round, LeBron
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Eli Manning Has A Hard Time Meeting Girls
We don't listen to the radio much — we're too busy with Meat Loaf and REO Speedwagon on an endless iPod loop — so we missed this little tidbit from the Opie and Anthony "show." Some guy named Jason Itzler, who used to run the NY Confidential "escort" service, was a guest on the show, and the hosts a...
The Bear Had No Use For Sideline Reporters
The more I watch this, the more I laugh. That's legendary Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, just barely stopping short of saying something like, "Look, you stupid bitch." Today's coaches (for the most part) are too publicly polite to embarrass a sideline reporter by pointing out the absurdity of the...
Tim Duncan is Not Tall Enough
Dwight Howard is getting all the credit for this, and sure ... Dwight Howard's freakish abilities speak for themselves. But how about that lob from Hedo Turkoglu? Magic Johnson couldn't have done it better. Picture perfect. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's the best contribution to basket...
Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas Need a Timeout
Someday, the Washington Wizards are going to bring in a decent center, and he's going to kick both of their asses. Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas reportedly got into a fight at practice, which would make their third fight over the last two years....
If You See These People At Large, Turn Them In IMMEDIATELY
Sure, you might look at this picture and think you see the kindly, warm-hearted parishioners of The Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis. It might make you feel warm; it might make you long for home. You might see nice old ladies during an Hawaiian-themed event. You might see that....
NBA Roundup: Even The Celtics Are Glad To See Kobe Back
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Bonds Contract: Baseball's Version Of A Constitutional Crisis?
So someone took the time to actually read the contract that Barry Bonds signed with the Giants on Monday, and they made a startling discovery. According to the fine print, Bonds not only must play both ends of any doubleheaders, he must dress as Paula Abdul in the second game. Also, there's this:...
NBA Roundup: Knicks Beat Lakers As We All Wonder What To Do With NBA's Captain Bligh
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Forever Barry
He's 43, kind of a dick and subject to a variety of ailments, including, if you believe the horse steroids charges, laminitis. But nonetheless, Barry Bonds is officially back in the fold with the San Francisco Giants, ready to tackle Mt. Aaron once again. Whew. We were on pins and needles....
Filling Your Burning Need For Pageantry
It's so difficult to wait that extra week for the Super Bowl. The promise of spectacular pageantry is on the horizon, but still just out of your reach. Oh, pageantry, you seductive temptress....
NBA Roundup: It's The Episode Where Iverson and Anthony Finally Kiss
Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Carmelo, Iverson Finally Able To Pretend To Tolerate Each Other In Person
Carmelo Anthony has paid his public penance — he threw a punch, so now he's Clearly A Thug, you see, though we like to think that the suspension was lessened because he had the good sense to punch a Knick — and now it's time to get back to business: Carmelo will rejoin Allen Iverson and the Denver N...
See? Michael Vick Has Never Smoked Pot, Ever!
At last, the pristine and sacred names of Michael Vick and Ron Mexico can be cleared, no longer to be sullied with such filthy innuendo: It turns out that everybody's favorite HSV Type 2 carrier didn't have marijuana with him on a planet last week after all....
The NBA's Shame
I've been critical of David Stern and his obsessively fascist measures to cultivate a friendly, lilly-white non-threatening image for the NBA, but perhaps I was misguided on that....
Bonds And The Giants Just Can't Quit Each Other
Yesterday, Barry Bonds did nobody any favors by endorsing Pete Rose and Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame, inspiring each of them to put their paws over their face like a goldendoodle puppy. But the bigger news might be that the Giants are considering voiding Bonds' contract after the news of his po...
This Time, They Weren't Flopping
During a South African soccer match earlier this week, a sudden gust of wind hit the obviously shoddily constructed stadium. What happened after that is gruesome and amazing. Somebody give that sign a red card. A couple, actually....
NBA Roundup: Lakers Seek To Conquer Texas
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
If You Can't Stash Your Pot In A Water Bottle And Get On A Plane, The Terrorists Have Already Won
Just one day after his brother tried to have an old lawsuit against him dismissed, it appears our friend Ron Mexico is in considerable trouble again. Michael Vick appears to have been stashing his weed in a water bottle and trying to sneak it past the whiz-kids at airport security....
Kwame Brown Has No Concerns About Excess Flour Intake
Sometimes, we just don't have to say anything, other than, well, this must have been what Michael Jordan had in mind when he drafted him....