ant Page 742 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Could Bonds Be The New Karl Rove?
We'd never thought about this before — mainly because politics scares and confuses us — but in a weird way, this kind of makes perfect sense: Barry Bonds is the Karl Rove of sports. Think about it. Bonds sticks to his guns no matter how ridiculous his position; he says he's going to do something, ...
Barry Bonds Ain't Got Nothin' To Lose
Barry Bonds is amazing. Just a couple of days ago, he said he planned on losing a little bit of weight in the offseason, which is kind of like Courtney Love saying, "hey, my behavior is going to be a little erratic in the next few months, but it has NOTHING to do with cocaine. So you know." And no...
Blogdome: San Diego Padres Edition
• What team scares the Cardinals the most? Would you believe the Padres? [Viva El Birdos] • Padres blogger: Don't hate us, American League! [Gas Lamp Ball] • Redskins fans might be a little too excited about that win last night. [Mr. Irrelevant] • Alabama school president in serious danger of damagi...
Brent Musburger, Public Nuisance
Thanks to The Mighty MJD, who directed our attention to this: ABC sportscaster Brent Musburger was ticketed last Saturday for drinking beer in his car. Directly after the Nebraska-Pittsburgh game — about which a Nebraska fan commented, "I think a lot of people needed a drink after that game" ... a...
About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...
On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...
About Last Night ...
You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ... • MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this. • MLB: That big f...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to watch a movie about penguins waiting in line ... • MLB: Bonds singles, walks twice as Giants come within five of Padres, so naturally he takes today off. • MLB: Yankees foolishly use up the rest of their September offense in 20-hit, 17-3 splurge. • Champions ...
Barry Returns, Giants Fans Remember What Life's Like
Well, our boy Barry Bonds returned to the Giants last night, and other than the blantantly terrible spelling on the front of his jersey (come on, people; G-I-A-N-T-S, it ain't that hard!), it was an smashing success all around. Bonds almost homered, the crowd showered him with nothing but Californ...
Scuffle? That Ain't No Stinking Scuffle
The Falcons beat the Eagles 14-10 in the "Monday Night Football" opener last night, but, for whatever reason, all anyone wants to talk about this morning is the pregame fight that ended with the ejections of Eagles linebacker Jeremiah Trotter and Falcons cornerback Kevin Mathis....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while conjuring that elaborate voodoo curse on the Saints' next opponent ... • NFL: Falcons' Vick, Eagles' Owens combine to inspire all kinds of feather-related headlines in Falcons' 14-10 win. • MLB: Bonds returns to take Giants' minds off of missing the playoffs. • MLB: Willis wins...
Welcome Back, Barry and T.O! It's Like You Were Never Here
Well, the night you've all been waiting for is here. The return of two of our very favorite subjects is tonight: Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens. Bonds is slated to bat fourth tonight against the Padres, and people are wondering whether or not they're gonna start walking him again. Meanwhile, T.O. i...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your hairline recedes considerably faster than the New Orleans floodwater ... • MLB: Padres at Giants. Barry throws down his crutches, returns to lineup. • Pickup basketball: NBA players' Hurricane Relief Game. • MNF: Eagles at Falcons. That lovable Terrell Owens plucks at your hear...
Leftovers: Kansas City People Are Weird
• Hunkalicious Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author hangs out with some seriously weird Chiefs fans. [Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer] • The different species of asshole Little League coaches. [Flak] • Even the Bering Sea can't knock down Larry Csonka. [USA Today] • Getting their Irish up: Notre Dame ri...
Blogdome: Saluting Supposed "Bad Guy" Roger Federer
• You might have been sad that Andre Agassi lost at the U.S. Open, but that Roger Federer guy is pretty cool too. [Tennis-X] • Uh, anybody in San Diego noticed that the Padres are still in first place? Anybody care? [Gas Lamp Ball] • Anybody else concerned that the Miami Heat might not turn out so g...
Price For Mustache Rides Drops Dramatically
We can't help but notice something: It has been a bad few days for the mustache. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt is 0-2 as coach of his alma mater. Orioles steroid pariah Rafael Palmeiro is gonna hide for the rest of the season, probably for the rest of his career. And the patron saint of this, To...