ants Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Twitter Aficionado Osi Umenyiora Promises To Buy Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl Ring If He Gets One Million Followers
This Osi Umenyiora guy is a weird cat. A week after calling LeSean McCoy a woman on twitter as an insult, he is now pledging to buy Lawrence Taylor's 1991 Super Bowl ring that is currently being auctioned off, but only if he gets one million followers. Initially he said the millionth follower would...

Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....

PR Guy Who Offered Exclusive Pics Of Some Player And His Super Bowl Ring Wants Us To "Get A Grip And Obviously A Life!!!"
Public relations wiz Jonathan Jaxson has responded to the treatment we gave his email pitch yesterday. First, he called us "Assholes!" in a tweet he has since taken down. Later, he sent me this email, presented here in its entirety:...

Here You Go, PR Guy For Some Player NFL Teams No Longer Want
This email popped into our tips inbox just a little while ago:...

Hookers Aren't Free, So Lawrence Taylor Is Auctioning Off One Of His Super Bowl Rings
We're seeing this more and more from famous athletes, whether it's because of financial straits, some sort of hassle, or reasons unexplained: Tommie Smith, Rashaan Salaam, Julius Erving, Ray Guy, David Wells, and Orel Hershiser—to name a few—have all in recent years put some item of cherished memora...

Osi Umenyiora Wishes "Twitter Gangster" LeSean McCoy A Happy Mother's Day...On Twitter
So, yeah. Osi Umenyiora recently joined Twitter and it would appear he is a quick learner (except for the whole "@ reply" thing). Earlier this morning he tweeted "Happy Mothers Day Lesean Mccoy! Enjoy your special day!!"...

Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....

Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore
These are down days in The City, with Pablo Sandoval out for weeks after hand surgery, Willie Mota busted for drugs, and a defense that's let down every pitcher on the staff....

Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis....

Gregor Blanco Fall Down, Go Boom, Still Makes It To Third Base
Gregor Blanco has just 27 stolen bases in some 271 career games, so we wouldn't say that he's necessarily known for his speed on the basepaths....

Holy Crap, Jeremy Affeldt's Son Is Huge
Giants lefty specialist Jeremy Affeldt suffered another freak injury on Saturday, spraining his MCL. He's now on the 15-day disabled list. That's not the story here. This is:...

You Can Lead A Baseball Fan In A Horse Mask To Beer, But You Can't Make Him Drink It
This video has nothing to do with ESPN, Sarah Phillips, or parody Twitter accounts. It has everything to do with baseball, beer, and horses. You know, the important stuff....

Jay Bruce Homers, Child Naps, Guy Drops Ball While Holding Napping Child
Yeah, she's asleep. ... Shhh. ... No, it's OK. I can hold her. ... Shhh. ... Nice day, huh? ... [crack] ... Oh, wow. Hey, hun. Look out! It's coming this way! ... [grunts, stands up] ... YOU be careful! This ball's coming right at us! I GOT THIS! ... I just have to ... [adjusts grip on child, reach...

The Ninth Inning Of Today's Mets-Giants Game Was About The Worst Ever
The Mets tried valiantly to lose today's matinee against the Giants, only to have their LOLMets returned twofold. An outfield blunder by Ruben Tejada and Kirk Nieuwenhuis on what should have been the final play of the game in the top of the ninth allowed San Francisco to tie the game, but the Giants...

Is There A Young Lefty Starter In MLB Who <em>Hasn't</em> Gotten An Extension?
The San Francisco Giants just signed lefty starter Madison Bumgarner to a five-year, $35-million extension. 2011 was Bumgarner's first full season in the big leagues. He struck out 8.4 batters per nine innings and walked only two per nine. That's quite good. It is, as you might expect, far too early...

James Jones Flopped, And It Sent Jeff Van Gundy On An Apoplectic Rant
ESPN basketball analyst Jeff Van Gundy has gone on rants about flopping before, but today's (sparked by a third-quarter dive by James Jones in the Heat-Knicks matchup) is one for the ages. Play-by-play man Mike Breen tries his hardest to get Van Gundy off the topic, but fails—JVG even runs over t...

Bryan Stow And His Son Participate In Ceremonial First Pitch At San Francisco Giants Home Opener
Bryan Stow continues on his path to recovery following a vicious beating at Dodger Stadium that left him in a coma resulting in severe brain damage. The San Francisco Giants had hoped he would be able to attend Opening Day, but he remains in a care facility....

The San Francisco Giants Are Selling Their Old, Game-Used Stuff
Starting with today's home opener, the San Francisco Giants will be selling game-used equipment to fans inside AT&T Park. Home/road jerseys, balls, batting helmets, bats, pitching rubbers, and even empty champagne bottles from the 2010 World Series celebration will be offered for sale at a special p...

It Looks Like MetLife Stadium Is On Fire, But It's Not
Don't panic! This photo is just a trick of perspective. There is a massive brush fire burning in Jersey, near the Meadowlands—it was even visible from Brooklyn for a time. But the homes of the Giants, Jets, and the depressing standardbreds of Meadowlands Racetrack are safe....

Someone Should Just Blow Up The Orlando Magic At This Point
In the ongoing Dwight Howard-Stan Van Gundy bitchfest, there is only one true solution: just get rid of everyone. Trade Howard. Fire Van Gundy and general manager Otis Smith. Then sell the team. Until then Orlando will have a superstar who does not want to be there being coached by a coach who does...