ants Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...

Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...

Breaking: Pirates Bobblehead May Be Giving Us The Finger
The Pirates and Mets were rained out on Monday, giving Pittsburgh fans a little extra time to pull their Tom Gorzelanny bobblehead dolls out of their boxes and examine them closely for the first time. Fans received the bobble on Saturday as the Pirates took on the Phillies at PNC Park. Examining the...

Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...

Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....

Remember To Get Your Tickets For The Chicago Pants Party
If you didn't attend last year's Deadspin Pants Party in Chicago, boy, did you ever miss out. We'll be kicking it off again this year, and there are still tickets remaining....

Giants Win Three Straight? That's Unpossible!
What the fungus is going on here? About a month ago during spring training, The Dugout over at AOL asked Giants fans if they would rather have Rich Aurilia beat them senseless with construction site debris, or have Barry Bonds back for another season. I of course chose the former, and braced myself ...

For You Few Humans Still Paying Attention To Your NCAA Bracket
With the end of the NCAA Tournament tonight, that means not only that One Shining moment is upon us, but also that: Hey! Time to wrap up your tournament pools....

Fiery NASCAR Crash Was The Work Of Scheming Terrorist Fire Ants
You always wondered if NASCAR drivers could turn right. Well, they can, but only once. The twisted remains of the vehicle you see here belonged to Michael McDowell, who rubbed the wall the wrong way (too hard, and straight on) in qualifying for this week's Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. But no...

Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...

Baseball Season Preview: San Francisco Giants
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; heck, they've even played real games in Japan....

Your NL West "Preview"
Question: Anybody else buy the MLB Extra Innings package? They're eventually gonna update that schedule with games, right? Our cable system is still showing nothing ... and the season starts Monday, doggone it!...

Gee, Your New Rule Smells Terrific
There's now a proposal — by, surprisingly, the Kansas City Chiefs — to ban long hair in the NFL next season. The owners will consider it at their meetings in Palm Beach, Fla., next week, because, you know, all the major prblems with the league have been solved. The Steelers' Troy Polamalu is waiting...

Last Chance To Join Pants Party Tourney Pool
We are just more than than hour away from the beginning of this tourney business, so, you know, if you want to join the Deadspin Pants Party Pool, this is your absolute last chance. Remember: If someone gets every game right, they get to take over Deadspin. So much more valuable than that $11 millio...

Manning Vs. Brady, Round II
OK, I might see Tom Brady wearing Ermenegildo Zegna clothing, but Eli Manning, I don't think so. Isn't he more of a Miller's Outpost kind of guy? Anyway, they were both on hand for the big Zegna store opening in Manhattan on Thursday, or so we are led to believe. Mr. Manning here actually looks very...

I, Like, Totally Had That Ball, Man (Cough!)
When Barry Bonds hit home run No. 762 at Coors Field on Sept. 5, 2007, notorious ballhawk Jake Frazier was in perfect position to grab it. As it's looking more and more like that will be Bonds' last homer ever, the ball is quite a prize; it's estimated that it could go for $1 million when it's put u...