ants Page 139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Thick In The Britches"
This is Bob Whitfield, veteran left tackle for the New York Giants. According to his bio, he has five children, ages ranging from 19 to 5. He seems like an upstanding member of society. And when NJ.com asked him, apropos of nothing, "whose backfield would you like to see in motion?" he had quite an ...

No, Stampy! Bad!
As our national men's soccer team looks to be a lost cause, may we suggest throwing all of our support behind our new U.S. elephant polo squad? The World Cup bummed us out, and we now have a chance with a new sport to do it right this time. Why do we think this? Because the U.S. team seems to have a...

NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....

NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of painting their...

Keith Hamilton Swings A Mean Surge Protector
Former Giants defensive tackle Keith Hamilton believes in an odd method of disciplining his children. Some parents will go for the "time-out," some will go for a routine spanking, some might make you put a quarter in a jar every time you swear. But if you're Keith Hamilton's kid, and you come home w...

Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...

Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...

"Indictment? What Indictment? Let's JAM!"
As it becomes clear that Barry Bonds will indeed not be indicted today, with the possibility it could still happen hanging out there, we can look forward to a few more weeks of will-he or won't-he? The parlor game often distracts from the real story, and the real story, we can proudly say, was Bonds...

The Closer: It Hasn't Been A Barry Good Year
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Michael Strahan's Real "Alternative Lifestyle"
Last week's silly Michael Strahan could be gay rumor — started by an estranged wife in the midst of divorce proceedings — has been pretty much discredited by everyone, including the woman who made the allegation. But if you weren't convinced enough, a reader sends in a story of seeing Strahan and ...

The Closer: Giants No-Hitter Foiled By Hobbit
Thoughts on a day in baseball:...

Unfortunately, They Can Only Use Their Hands
If you thought human beings were the only species with a World Cup this week ... think again, you human-centric bigots! It's the Ant World Cup!...

Bonds' Anti-Climactic Trip To Shea
We've been fortunate enough, during our time here in New York, to see the Shea Stadium crowd riled up a few times, including our favorite, John Rocker's return to Shea for the first time, in June 2000, since his infamous 7 train remarks. (As was typical at the time, the crowd booed him lustily, an...

Two Bald Guys, Ruling Everything
Pity the poor parents of anyone who might have been featured on ESPN's coverage of track and field yesterday; we imagine them readying to watch their dear child heave the shot put or hoist a javelin, years of support and pride and sweat finally being showcased on national television ... and then, ...

714, At Last
It's kind of a shame that this didn't happen while Will was blogging, because I'm not nearly as obsessed with this as he is, but... c'est la vie. Barry Bonds hit his 714th career home run, tying Babe Ruth for 2nd on the all-time list. It came against Brad Hasley of the Oakland A's in the second in...

The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...

Anybody Actually Watching This Show (Other Than Us)?
Here's the thing about the ESPN "reality" series Bonds on Bonds; everyone seems to have an opinion on it, but practically no one has actually seen it. Even Barry himself missed the debut episode on Tuesday. We don't know what the ratings were, but they can't be good; ESPN went into damage control ...

Needling Barry, Day Two
Sorry, we can't show you any fresh anti-Bonds signs today. The Giants' game with the Padres at Petco Park was postponed; the first Padres rainout since 1998, and only the 16th in their 38-year history. Just as well, because the ESPN reality series Bonds on Bonds debuted that evening, and who wants...