ants Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Year, Iditarod Mushers Will Be Peeing Themselves Mid-Race With The Help Of Science
The Iditarod kicked off over the weekend, and it'll be more than a week before even the best mushers complete the race. That 1000-mile trek through the Alaskan wilds is tough enough, even without having to take bathroom breaks at rest-stop Hardees or pee off the back of your sled, giggling as the st...
College Basketball's New Zubaz-Inspired "Uniform Systems" Also Have Sleeves, For Some Reason
It appears that Adidas is not quite finished ruining basketball uniforms across the nation: today the company unveiled its new "adizero uniform system," which six college teams—Cincinnati, Kansas, Baylor, UCLA, Louisville, and the Notre Dame Doublemints—will wear for conference play in March....
Once Upon A Time, They Made Fantasy Movies Like This. <em>Jack The Giant Slayer</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's sort of amazing how low the bar has fallen for big tentpole action/fantasy films. With the rise of 3-D (and, more to the point, 3-D surcharges), spectacle is the minimum entrance requirement, and even that has been watered down to the point of monotony. You can pick your poison, but I've alw...
We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak
A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very rea...
FIBA Is Prepared To Say D.C. High School Star Junior Etou Is 18 Years Old, Even Though FIBA Was Sure He's 20
Looks like an already-messy situation on the D.C. hoops scene is about to get messier. Junior Etou, a breakout star at Bishop O'Connell High School in Arlington, Va., is about to turn 18 all over again....
Cliff Paul, Chris Paul’s Suspiciously Clark Kent-Like Twin Brother, Got To Go To All-Star Weekend
Turns out that if you're just a normal, unassuming insurance salesman, and you suddenly discover that you have a long-lost, pro basketball-playing twin brother, then you get to experience all sorts of celebrity perks, like going to the All-Star game last weekend. Must be nice......
Adorable Creatures Playing Basketball, Ranked
1. Arthritic sea otter (above)...
UK Hockey Team Ditches New American Owner After It Turns Out He's A Registered Sex Offender
For the NHL's litany of poor potential owners—John Spano's swindling, Boots Del Biaggio's fraud, Greg Jamison straight up not having the money—at least this has never happened. The Belfast Giants, in the UK's EIHL, were recently sold to American Floridian Christopher Knight. That was before they lea...
Tim Lincecum Had A Very Zen Offseason
Now that spring training has officially kicked off, it's time for baseball writers to spend the next two months filling column space while absolutely nothing of consequence happens. Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal got started today, asking various members of the San Francisco Giants to share their favori...
Five New Jersey Mayors Are Threatening To Withhold Police And Emergency Services From Next Year's Super Bowl
Many a lame observation has been made about the likelihood that next year's Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium will be ruined by bad weather like the stuff we've got now. It's silly. Rare is the storm that dumps a foot of snow on the New York metropolitan area, and rarer still is the football fan that wo...
Tim Lincecum Cut Off All His Hair
Well look who got a haircut right before spring training! Tim Lincecum has dropped his signature Dazed and Confused look for something more Joseph Gordon-Levitt-y. It's grown-up and adorable and it'll be even more surprising when such a clean-cut guy says "now I know what chicks feel like" the next ...
WSU Football Player Arrested After "Shoving Two Bottles Of Tequila Down His Pants" In A Daring Robbery Attempt
Washington State redshirt freshman Drew Loftus had a plan. He was "exhibiting signs of intoxication," so it was one of those plans, but it was still a plan: He would bide his time during the evening. Maybe have a couple extra drinks, to take the edge off. Wait until about 1 a.m—just when they least...
Pro Football Hall Of Fame Calls Up Sapp, Parcells, Ogden, Allen and Carter
The NFL's next Hall of Fame class, just announced, has a few dudes the TV made famous. There's Bill Parcells, who made a coaching career of winning two Super Bowls with the Giants and then convincing other teams believe he might ever do it again; Cris* Carter, who just proved that even Jerry Rice Li...
FIBA: No, D.C. High School Basketball Star Junior Etou Really Is 20 Years Old. It Says So On His Birth Certificate.
In response to our report that its newest basketball star will turn 21 years old this year, Bishop O'Connell High School is standing by its, um, man. But that support's not making Junior Etou any younger in the eyes of global basketball authorities, who now say they have an "official" copy of the pl...
Terrifyingly Mean Ravens Safety Bernard Pollard Refuses To Wear Pants
That's according to the New York Times, which today published a brief profile of Bernard Pollard that may have been the result of an unpleasant encounter between Bernard Pollard and the author of the profile. Though the piece is at pains to point out that Pollard is "confident" and, according to a f...
Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...
Soccer Fans' Chant At Player Who Temporarily Left Match During Play: "He Went For A Shit"
During Monday night's 0-0 English Premier League draw between Everton and Southampton, Southampton midfielder Jason Puncheon briefly left the pitch during the action and vanished into the tunnel, only to return a short time later. Upon his return, the hometown fans eloquently serenaded Puncheon wi...
D.C.'s Newest High School Basketball Star Will Turn 21 This Year, According To FIBA
Another birther movement burgeons on the shores of the Potomac. It kicked up last week, in the wake of Bishop O'Connell's 68-48 rout of DeMatha, for decades the touchstone hoops program in the nation's capital. ...
"What A Joke This Sport Is!" Jeff Van Gundy Is Not A Fan Of The Designated Hitter Rule
The Thunder's beat-down of the Lakers last night got a little boring towards the end, as beat-downs will, and unlike some spectators, Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy were contractually obligated to remain in their seats. Naturally, talk turned to the designated hitter, and—like many people, but in h...
Kobe And Vanessa Bryant Are Getting Back Together, Reports Vanessa Bryant's Instagram
The way we reconcile now: Vanessa Bryant filed for divorce from Kobe in December 2011, after 10 years of marriage. Vanessa said Kobe had been unfaithful—gee whiz—and slept with 105 women. The couple reportedly had no prenuptial agreement. Today, someone saw the error of the other's ways, and the Bry...