ap Page 1437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Perfect Gentlemen: My Lovely Night With Lawrence Taylor
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone out on dates with professional athletes and had altogether positive experiences. Unfortunately, today's installment features Lawrence Taylor....

Copycat Who Ran On Field During Phillies Game Contrite, But Wanted To "Prove A Point"
Tom Betz AKA DJ Greaseboner spoke to the media about his failed attempt to get himself tased as an act of solidarity or protest or something equally moronic. [NBCPhiladelphia]...

This Lawrence Taylor Story Is Going To Get Real Ugly, Real Fast
Taylor is charged with beating and raping a 16-year-old girl overnight. He's currently in jail, awaiting his arraignment. A press conference is scheduled for this afternoon. [AnimalNY]...

Lawrence Taylor... Accused Of Rape
"Taylor, 51, was taken into custody by the Town of Ramapo police after being accused of raping someone in the Holiday Inn Holidome Hotel in Suffern."[CBS]...

Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Bloodlust
In sports, everyone is a winner - some people just win better than others. Like Philly's desire to Taser this copycat attention whore who ran onto the field, which is actually better than he deserves....

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And Now, The Taser Video You've All Been Waiting For
Ah, baseball. The crack of the bat. The feel of the grass. The smell of burning hair, as 1200 volts of electricity course through a 17-year-old's nervous system....

Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....

Derby Day Video Recap: A Mad Dash Across Porta-Potty Rooftops, Mudwrestling, And Bad Techno (NSFW)
This year, the drizzly weather made the usual activities along the Churchill Downs infield (portalet runs, women sunning themselves in bikinis) that much more dangerous (slippery portalet runs) and sleazy (women mudwrestling in bikinis). Here's everything you missed....

Things That Are Not Yet Banned By NFL.com: Pittsburgh #7 Jerseys With "Therapist" On The Back
It's the perfect gift for both Browns fans and Jezebel readers this Arbor Day. Plus, it's fun to say in your best Darrell Hammond-does-Sean Connery voice. [PhillyBlunt]...

Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....

Mindy McCready's Forbidden, Goofy Love For Roger Clemens
Her lawyers say she was too whacked out to realize she signed-off on "Baseball Mistress (NSFW)", but, nonetheless, I still find her woozy interview about her puppy love with Roger Clemens mesmerizing....

The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....

Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....

Athlete Wives Are Just Regular Gals, <em>Washington Post</em> Keeps Reporting
The Post gives the wives of the Capitals the same incisive treatment it gave the wives of the Nationals last year. Noted: "They're striking, yes! But, in a regular kind of way." [Washington Post]...

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Introducing The Sports Phella, Phil Simmons
Bill Simmons was nice enough to Tweet-lert everyone of ABCNews.com's captioning gaffe but we all know it was just to prove he gets invited to parties/smokes up with Ricky Williams. Click 'n' embiggen. [@sportsguy33]...

Bango The Buck's Encore: Battery And Harassment
Bango — drunk with power after surviving last night's dunk — is now harassing Wisconsin's small coterie of Atlanta Hawks fans. Enjoy the dulcet tones of P.O.D. and — I hope — the use of a single Al Horford jersey. H/T Jon....