ap Page 1456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes
Two weeks ago, John Smoltz left Boston a washed up failure. Then one bullpen session with the Cardinals and suddenly he's a future Hall of Famer again. All because his teammates figured out what Boston coaches couldn't....

Bruntlett's Unassisted Triple Play Closes Out the Mets
The Mets rallied off of Phillies closer Brad Lidge in the bottom of the ninth, only to watch Jeff Francoeur line out to Eric Bruntett. The second baseman stepped on second and tagged Daniel Murphy to end the game....

Florida Is Number One, And It Isn't Close
The preseason AP College Football Poll has been released, and the Florida Gators are number one in the nation, by the widest margin in the poll's history....

Ochocinco Wants to Fight Berto, WBC Champ Guarantees A Beating
Chad Ochocinco has spent a few months of his off-season time training in boxing gyms, and now he's talking about launching a pro career. He's gone so far as to call out WBC Welterweight champion Andre Berto....

Fisticuffs In New York: Mets Fan Gets Soaked, Dropped
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Arrggh! My Back!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Paper Tigers: Memphis Didn't Win Those Things They Won
Your new NCAA record-holder for most wins in a season: the four teams that used to hold it before Memphis won 38 in 2007-08. That's because Memphis has to vacate all of them, plus their Final Four appearance....

Brett Myers Just Can't Stop Being An A-Hole
The Phillies cantankerous pitcher Brett Myers is attempting to bounce back this season to inject life into the team's depleted bullpen, but first he has to let his eye socket heal after it landed on a fist....

Brendan Haywood Apologizes For Gay-Panicky Dig At Marbury
"I don't support or condemn homosexuality," Haywood explains agnostically, before diving into the comments and discoursing with the rabble on such matters as race, sexuality, the First Amendment and showering with men. [Yardbarker]...

This Way To The Pajama Party Of The Dead
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Tough Actin' Keith Acton Is The Only Lucky Maple Leaf
The good news: The former player won nearly $100,000 in Canada's national lottery. The bad news: $100k isn't nearly enough to quit his job as Toronto's assistant coach. [Toronto Star]...

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...

Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......

Apologies For The Delays But There Is A Troublesome Dong Infecting Gawker Media
I've been told it has something to do with Dr. McSteamy's wang(NSFW) clogging up Gawker's publishing system. I'm just quoting from an inter-office memo circulating around. As you were....

Braylon Edwards Learns About The Dark Side Of Twitter
Sure, social media brings you closer to the fans ... but that just makes it easier for them to tell you that you suck at your job. [Waiting For Next Year]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Carolina Panthers
Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Joakimpalooza Festival Will Be Coming To A City Near You
We showed you a couple of photographs of dirty hippie Joakim Noah popping up at last weekend's Lollapalooza festival and it appears that he was friendly to pretty much everyone he came in contact with during the three-day event....

Meet The Yankee Mean Girls
Laura Posada. Karen Burnett. Amber Sabathia. Michelle Damon. Leigh Teixeira. These are the Yankee wives the NY Post declares are the most popular and powerful of the Bronx Bombshells. Road beef beware....

The One With Joakimpalooza And Being Scolded For Joy
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Meaningless Struggle: The Preseason Opener
Why do you watch preseason football? To prepare for hosting duties, I sat down last night to watch three of my least favorite things: 1. the Baltimore Ravens, 2. the Washington team, 3. an exhibition game....