ap Page 1537 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Guy Is Very Excited About Ken Williams' Offseason Moves
It's a Christmas Miracle! Ladies and gentlemen, we present you with the spiritual brother of our friend Mike Cooper ... meet Ryan Drop....

That's A Nice, Uh, Sweater Vest, Coach
In one of those little moments that make life with high definition television so much better than life before high definition television, an eagle-eyed reader caught a split-second incident last night, fleeting, that shows just how much the Indianapolis Colts staff loves Tony Dungy....

Peyton Manning Does Brief Alpha Dog Impression
See, this is what we were talking about. Going into last night's Monday Night game, the Bengals were the team with the defense that was playing well at the right time, the Colts were collapsing (because Tony Dungy isn't "tough" enough, or something) and the entire AFC was topsy-turvy, if you don't m...

The Last Worthy MNF Game, We Suspect
In what should be an awfully fun and hopefully high-scoring Monday night game, the Indianapolis Colts and the Cincinnati Bengals, teams going in the ole "opposite directions" storyline. This being the NFL, everyone will forget the storylines once, you know, they actually play a game....

Jeff Garcia Cannot Be Destroyed By A Mortal Man
From our experience, when Jeff Garcia is making this motion, and he's about to chuck it long and downfield, something bad is about to happen. We mean, it's Jeff Garcia! The last few years, his main purpose has been to be the target of Terrell Owens' sublimated man-on-man urges....

Amazingly, This Is Actually An Important NFC Game
As insane as it might be to contemplate, the Philadelphia Eagles, a team that seemingly hasn't won in months, a team that is legitimately trying to figure out if they're going to start Jeff Garcia or A.J. Feeley, a team that its fans can't even muster up enough enthusiasm to hate properly ... this t...

Flush With Two-Ply Dreams Of Greatness
The Bakersfield Condors are a minor league hockey franchise in California, whose team motto is Soaring to New Heights. And never will that be more in evidence than on Friday during Toilet Paper Roll Giveaway Night, as the Condors take on the Fresno Falcons....

'Dallas Clark Is Awesome. Seriously. (Please Don't Hurt Us)'
The folks over at Rooster Teeth.com are small-boned, practical folk. So when they angered large, muscular Indianapolis Colts tight end Dallas Clark recently with a rather unflattering portrayal of him on a video game commercial, they quickly scrambled to make amends. They drafted a letter of apology...

We Hope They Turn Out Overweight And Lethargic
To celebrate his new big-ass contract for the Dodgers — and the inevitable shredding of some sort of tender tendon that will result — Nomar Garciaparra has found a fertile place in Mia Hamm that his seed might find purchase....

That Smudge On Your Floor? That's The Big Ten
You know, new Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson isn't known as a disciplinarian in the way that Bob Knight is, but, jeez, he sure does make his players do some pretty publicly humiliating things to their teammates when they lose on national television, doesn't he?...

Sunday Night Football: Colts vs. Eagles
Flex scheduling was supposed to prevent things like this. NFL rules now allow NBC to select their Sunday night games a couple of weeks in advance to avoid late season matchups like Tennessee vs. Minnesota or something. And even with the new policy, we still end up with Jeff Garcia in prime time. But...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be the Next Athlete to Have a Sex Tape?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

We <i>Thought</i> That Cook Looked A Lot Like Mike Sherman
Well, at least there's one good thing about playing for the Raiders, says Warren Sapp. When you're 2-8, no one poisons your food. Sapp used our most hallowed food-related holiday to reminisce about the time that, when he played for Tampa Bay, someone tried to take him out like a KGB spy. And he's ...

Hating The Yankees With The Strokes
This offseason has been a somewhat difficult one for Mets fans, who are still trying to deal with the glue that held Carlos Beltran's bat to his shoulder and the creeping sense that they really are going to sign Moises Alou. And it's not just your smart fans hand-wringing either. One of the quieter ...

Ryan Howard Gives Philly Something Small To Be Happy About
Hey, Philly fans, good news: No need to cause bodily harm to yourself or others. You finally have a beacon of light in Philadelphia. One might even say it's always sunny....

Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Fitted National League Cap
This story isn't totally new, but it's the first we've seen of it. And we have to warn you in advance that all sides here are quite possibly insane. Charles Littleton, 22, was tackled, tasered and hauled off to the hoosegow last week for refusing to remove his Los Angeles Dodgers cap during a Sagina...

Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...

Where In The World Is Lil Ronnie?
So here's a question: Whatever happened to Lil Ronnie? Longtime Deadspin readers will remember Lil Ronnie, the 12-year-old from the "south side" of Indianapolis who serenaded his beloved Colts with "Super Bowl Bound," the hip-hop ode with the cityscape of Indy pulsing in the background. He was cute,...

Not Exactly Thrilling NFL Action
We are always hesitant to grouse and grumble about the low excitement level of a particular NFL game and use it as an opportunity to make some larger statement about the game itself; one of the more random things about sports is that sometimes an individual game will just stink, and it's no reflecti...

Look, It's Football On Monday! At Night!
If you're the type of entirely hypothetical person whose fantasy team has degraded to the point that Steve Gradkowski is your starting quarterback — see that? We got our Kornheiser on right there — you might be particularly fired up for tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Tampa Bay Bucc...