ap Page 1539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Lesson In Self Preservation On The Mean Streets
Ever wonder what you would do if you had only an umbrella, and was attacked by someone wielding a long pole? What about using your walking stick to defend yourslef against a mob? (Matt Millen please take note). Thank God we've stumbled on the answer before you've gotten yourself into real trouble....

NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....

NFL Season Preview: Carolina Panthers
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...

NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....

Hall Of Fame Inductee: Renee Thomas And Angela Keathley
Presenting the next member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

The Daily Closer: Red Pinstripes In Morning, NL Take Warning
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Renee Thomas And Angela Keathley
We were actually at a wedding the night before the Carolina Panthers bathroom rendezvous story broke, and by the time we woke up that Monday November morning, we felt helplessly behind on the story. We had a fear facts would cause the story to peter out by the time we caught back up....

Boy, The Panthers Sure Do Like Their Steroids
In case you missed it, The Charlotte Observer yesterday published an impressively thorough story on the rampant steroid and HGH use among the Carolina Panthers over the last few years. It's rather damning. Highlights include:...

Our Near-Cameo In The Lesbian Cheerleader Non-Trial
It was just last November that Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley, the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, were arrested after their little bathroom escapade. In January and March, Keathley and Thomas, respectively, pled out to avoid jailtime and agree not to make money off the case. (Hence, no Playboy sp...

Rik Smits And His Tiny Bikes
We have had many thoughts about former Pacers center Rik Smits in our lives — Really. We have. — mostly involving his unique ability to look like the answer to the question: What would happen if aliens could grow mustaches?...

NFL Season Preview: Indianapolis Colts
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Even Boxers Are Like, "This Dude's Too Violent"
We are not licensed public relations professionals. So maybe we're not in a position to give advice....

We're Only 99 44/100ths Percent Pure, Ourselves
The woman on the left in this photo is Danika Schroeter. She finished second in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships last week, finishing just one second behind Michelle Dumaresq. Dumaresq is the woman in the middle. The lady on the right ... we don't know who the lady on the right is...

Brett Myers' Easily Misinterpreted Punches To The Face
So, remember that Philadelphia minority owner who said Brett Myers' wife was lying when she said he hit her? At the time, he was publicly shushed by the other owners, and now it's easy to see why....

Vince Papale's Wife Doesn't Care About Black People
There are always perils when you make a movie based on the life of a real person. Real life tends to not follow the inspiring storyline. A Beautiful Mind's John Nash might have been anti-Semetic. The heroic bounty hunter in Domino killed herself right before the movie was released. The cute love s...

Minor Enterprise: A Mighty Wind
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're dressed as a large mascot beaver and are hopelessly stuck in the suit, contact us at ti...

Some Folks Are Still A Little Mad About That Scab Business
So, Cory Lidle has left the Phillies and is heading to the Yankees. In an interview, he said he was excited about pitching in the Bronx because "over the last few years I haven't had a clubhouse that expected to win with me." This got back to Phillies reliever Arthur Rhodes, who was less than please...

In Praise Of A Happy Hit Streak
Little known rule around Deadspin world headquarters: When a hitting streak — one of our favorite baseball occurrences — reaches 30 games, we are obliged to honor the achievement with its own post. Therefore, congratulations to Phillies second baseman Chase Utley — his name sounds like one of the ...