ap Page 1612 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

My Long Nightmare Might be Over
Oh frabjous day! A report in today's Philadelphia Inquirer says what Phillies Phans have longed to hear since that horrible afternoon of July 26: If he gets the OK from hand surgeon Randall Culp, Chase Utley could be back in the lineup in time for the Mets series at Citizens Bank Park next week. Fro...

Oookie Agonistes
Compared to much of the sports blogosphere, we lead a blessedly sheltered life here at Deadspin Nation. Admission is limited. There are standards of discourse during business hours. The worst of the trolls are jettisoned with all haste. But in most of the uncharted wilds of the internets, lawlessnes...

And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....


Darren Daulton, The Only Man With The Stones To Speak The Truth
A little part of us have always wondered if Darren Daulton's whole time-traveling, metaphysics schtick is a bit of a intricate prank foisted on us by Dutch and John Kruk. But even if it is, it doesn't matter, because it's endless entertaining regardless....

Dice-K Has Expensive Balls (Sorry)
How much would you pay for a baseball signed by Daisuke Matsuzaka? We ask this not as theoretical. There's an actual, concrete price, and ... well, uh, it seems like a lot....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while uncovering the terrible secret of Giant Lego Man ... • MLB: Richie Sexson? Boooo ... no wait , yaaay! Mariners 4, Twins 3. • NFL preseason: Jay Cutler plays for one magical series in Denver's 17-13 win over San Francisco. • Tennis: David Ferrer defeats the freakishly tall John ...

Scoop Jackson And NOIS Meet
Sometimes, when two great minds converge, it can be blinding, like a supernova that outshines its entire host galaxy before fading from view over several weeks or months, or like when they crossed the streams in Ghostbusters....


Fox Sports Protects Us From The Horrors Of Boof
By now we're all deathly familiar with ESPN's travails trying to moderate comments with little ####ing success. And if ESPN opts not to be the bastion of uncensored response in user-generated content among network giants, where else do we turn? Fox Sports? Try again....

He's A LumberJax And He's OK
Now you, too, can have a career in professional lacrosse. Just marry the owner! It's easy, and will result in absolutely no ribbing in the team locker room for years to come....

Rich Garces Will Never Leave Us
Because the world is a better place when Rich Garces holds a prevalent role in it, we bring you a definitive Rich Garces profile....

Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of t...

The Announcer Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
via Awful Announcing...

Best.Draft.Ever.
I know that nobody likes hearing about other people's fantasy football lives— but this could be an exception. The intrepid Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Fantasy! gathered up a group of 12 sports bloggers to form the Tank Johnson Desert Classic. The league is a highly volatile experiment that Behrens will c...

The Only Baseball Map You'll Ever Need
This unmitigated piece of brilliance is from the great Strange Maps Web site: It's a geographical breakdown of the United States by its baseball teams. (You can see it much larger on their site.)...

Twins Play On After Bridge Collapse
As we wish the best to anyone affected by the bizarre bridge collapse in Minnesota yesterday, we note that the bridge that collapsed — which, somewhat pathetically, was named "the Interstate 35W Bridge" — was right by the Metrodome and was likely carrying people on their way to the Twins-Royals game...

Cubs Are Iguchied, Drop One Game Back Of Brewers
No first place for you, Chicago Cubs. Oh, why, why? (Bangs head against refrigerator). The Philadelphia Phillies, bolstered just before game time with the addition of pitcher Kyle Lohse from the Reds (6-12, 4.58 ERA, tiny, ill-advised goatee), beat the Cubs 4-1 on Monday. The loss dropped Chicago to...

The Green Bay Packers Understand The Internet
We're pretty used to professional sports teams and leagues making ridiculous policies for their Web sites. But the Green Bay Packers might have just taken the taco....

NFL Season Preview: Indianapolis Colts
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....