And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?

I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient.

Wigan 3-0 Sunderland—Emile Heskey, Danny Landzaat, and Antoine Sibierski all scored for Wigan, helping them reach the top of the league standing with the win over Sunderland. Craig Gordon did have four saves for Sunderland, but I guess he was three saves short. Both managers said the same clichéd things, if you're interested: It's good to win the home games, winning builds confidence, losing is disappointing, etc.

Portsmouth 3-1 Bolton—I see Bolton is at the bottom of the league. I guess it's no wonder Portsmouth came from behind to win. To the soccer heads, is Bolton the Arizona Cardinals of the EPL, always finding a way to lose? Despite Nicolas Anelka goal in the 12th minute, the Blues had three men score for them, including some guy named Kanu. Bolton has yet to score a point in League play.

Reading 1-0 Everton—Reading scored the upset of the day, knocking off Everton 1-nil. "It was a schoolboy goal we gave away and if you do that sort of thing at his level you'll get punished," said Everton manager David Moyes about Stephen Hunt's 44th minute goal.

Newcastle 0-0 Aston Villa—Michael Owen getting off the bench wasn't enough for the Magpies to score against a steady Aston Villa defense. [Ed. Note-That's really their nickname?] Villa played staggering defense and Steve Harper had four saves, but no one scored. And if you think putting up this match score was an excuse to post an Michael Owen picture, then you're wrong.* -SA

*Lying