ap Page 1781 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sabres Beat Oilers By Like ... A Lot Of Goals
Buffalo scored 10 seconds into the game, got another score 1:01 later and chased Edmonton's goalie after just eight shots. Final tally: 10-2. Ouch. [NHL.tv]...

Serena Williams Must Not Be Allowed To Overheat
Here's a fun fact: when I look out my window I see snow, yet somehow at this very moment it's summer in Australia! How does that work?!...

Strange Times Keep Getting Stranger In the World Of The Dallas Cowboys
Dear VH1: Please develop a reality series starring Terrell Owens, in which he examines his many personal problems with his publicists. P.S., I am not a crackpot....

Super Bowl Sub-Plot #4: Media Day!
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further....

Marquette Enjoying The Top While It Can
The Golden Eagles dispatched the suddenly terrible Fighting Irish leaving them on top of the Big East for at least a little while longer....

Super Bowl Sub-Plot #3: The Anquan Boldin Problem
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further....

Who's Ready for Duke To Be Number One Again?
Well, that was a throttling. Duke nearly doubled up Maryland 85-44 this afternoon, handing Gary Williams his worst loss since joining the Terrapins in 1989. And everybody knows what that means......

Rocker Says Steak Shapiro Deserved It, Denies Very Little
John Rocker was kind enough to call back and respond to Atlanta sports radio host Steak Shapiro's claims that he verbally assaulted him last night. Rocker says he was provoked....

Did John Rocker Go Crazy On An Atlanta Radio Host Last Night?
An Atlanta sports radio host is saying that our old pal John Rocker kind of went bonkers at a nightclub opening both were attending last night, and had to be restrained....

Principal Of School That Administered 100-0 Beating Offers To Forfeit The Win
Covenant School, the Texas high school that beat crosstown Dallas Academy 100-0 in a girls basketball game recently, is feeling somewhat remorseful over their little ass-kicking display....

Super Bowl Sub-Plot #1: Whisenhunt vs. Roethlisberger
There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl for over the next two weeks. We will beat them down even further....

Congratulations On Your New Acquisition, Boston!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Nine-Fingered Kobe Enough To Stop LeBron James
How confident is Kobe Bryant that he deserves the MVP Award? He intentionally dislocated his right ring finger before their game last night and still dispatched the Cavaliers with relative ease....

Willis McGahee Says He's Fine, Ready For Next Concussion
"I'm all right. Everything is OK. The MRI and the CAT scan checked out good. I was scared, but I didn't know how serious it was. It was pretty intense." [Baltimore Sun]...

Raise Your Hand If You Like Tennis
Hey, gang. The Australian Open is under way! Seriously, does anyone care about this, because I am honestly curious about the state of tennis' popularity. [Aussie Open]...

Tim Tebow Is Really Starting To Push It
The Tebow-ner dramatically pulls the sling off his injured shoulder to the titillating delight of thousands of slobbering Florida Gator basketball fans. Who does he think he is? Macho Man Savage? [AP]...

How To Elude An Angry Kangaroo, And Other Helpful NBA Tips
The Raptors' Nathan Juwai is probably the only NBA player to nearly get eaten by a crocodile. [NBA Fanhouse]...

Your Super Bowl Buzzsaw Matchup: Pittsburgh vs. Arizona
In two weeks, the Pittsburgh Steelers will face the Ari... Arizo... I almost can't even say it, it sounds so strange... Arizona Cardinals... for the world championship of American football....

Jump For Joy! There's A Hockey Game On Today!
NBC is broadcasting a regular season NHL game today ... on TV even! Rangers at Penguins (probably sans Crosby), 12:30 p.m. ET. Let's watch that! [NBC]...

Jim Schwartz To Become Detroit's Greatest Hero
It seems fitting that the Tennessee Titans' defensive coordinator is the man who has been chosen to resurrect the pitiful Detroit Lions....