arizona Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Buzzsaw Hires The Whiz
Despite initial rumors that had them hiring (ugh) Mike Sherman, Our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have hired Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt to be their new head coach. The Buzzsaw players can barely contain their excitement....
We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....
Matt Leinart Nurses Ailing Shoulder with Glute Pinching Exercises
Rumors are swirling about Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart's ailing shoulder, and whether or not said shoulder should be put under such duress as it must have been while allegedly throwing Britney Spears all over the place last weekend and playing Redbirds Grabass with many an ususpecti...
Now Boarding The Arizona Cardinals Plane ... Pete Carroll?
Our fearless leader Will Leitch is on vacation for one more day, which means that we can speculate rampantly on the next Arizona Cardinals head coach without fear of nail gun puncture wounds. May we say right at the outset, Steve Mariucci? Ha, that felt good....
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone!
Wouldn't it be slightly hilarious if Denny Green shows up at the Phoenix airport today, and this is the only plane out? Since Mr. Leitch is still on vacation, it's up to us to make sense of this news release from our new friends at US Airways....
A Little Hoops Slip 'N Slide
Far be it from us to deign to understand what it takes to schedule a sporting event, but we would like to suggest that, in the future, basketball games continue to be played indoors....
Nothing More Enraging Than A Buzzsaw Loss
You know, we have to admit, if we were a fan of the St. Louis Rams, or, say, a former USC star who isn't even strong enough right now to make the active roster of the St. Louis Rams, after losing convincingly to the Buzzsaw yesterday, well, we might want to stab someone in the face too....
Jake Plummer Has No Qualms About Doing This Again
Everybody has a cross to bear. Some of us were always picked last in kickball and still harbor resentment about it. Some of us have a lifelong fear of spiders, or horses, or, say, snakes. Some of us become never-nudes. We all have to overcome something....
Today's Episode Of "The Buzzsaw Has No Idea What It's Doing"
Various reports have claimed that Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green will be fired by the team at the end of the season, a move that at this point seems so wholly obvious that it's kind of strange they're waiting until the end of the year. Hey, why wait, ya know? He's already p...
Not Surprisingly, The Buzzsaw Can't Even Do This Right
Last Sunday, during another grueling loss for The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, the halftime show at the University Of Phoenix Stadium intended to honor the late Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan in April 2004, with the retirement of his jersey on the stadium's Ring Of Honor. A spe...
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
The Last Time We're Gonna Talk About This Game
All right, we're gonna talk about this one more time, and then if you bring it up again, we're totally not giving you a cookie....
"The Bears Are Who We THOUGHT They Were!"
We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still...
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....