arizona Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dodge Chargers Are Not Free, Gabe Watson
The Arizona Cardinals are loaded with nefarious characters these days. They've got womanizing quarterbacks, prostitute-soliciting assistant coaches, and now, a defensive lineman who sticks his old high school coach with his car payments....
NCAA Pants Party: Arizona Vs. Purdue
Arizona Wildcats (20-10) vs. Purdue Boilermakers (21-11) When: Friday, 7:10 p.m. Where: New Orleans...
Arizona Wildcats
1. Stretch Marks. The 2006-2007 season has resembled that of a young Alpha Phi freshman, heading to Tucson after a long summer of working out and tanning in the sun. Sure, she looks great when college begins, but five months of drinking any possible liquid (Everclear, YUMMY!) and ordering Domino's o...
The New Buzzsaw Regime Supports Local Business
Richie Anderson, former NFL running back and recently hired as wide receivers coach of the Arizona Cardinals, was finding it difficult to make friends in his new community....
Don't Expect Your Rec League To Adopt These
These, friends, are the future of college basketball uniforms, and that future is: SPANDEX! OK, not quite Spandex, but there's certainly a skin-tight vibe going on for the four teams who will supposedly try out the new duds during their conference championships this week: Ohio State, Syracuse, Flori...
Randy Johnson Would Rather You Didn't Watch 'Music And Lyrics'
Here's an Arizona Diamondbacks newspaper ad, as scanned by Diamondhacks, in which we see an interesting marketing strategy. OK, we're guys, right? Guys like baseball. So if we guys don't stick together and, like, buy Diamondbacks season tickets, our girlfriends might make us go see Because I Said So...
Give 'Em Hell, Sun Devils!
If you've ever spent significant time watching Pacific-10 Conference basketball, you'd most likely be surprised that there has never been a team that has finished winless in that conference: Not even the Ben Lindsey-coached Arizona Wildcats of 1982-83, which went 4-24 overall (they won two conferenc...
Buzzsaw Hires The Whiz
Despite initial rumors that had them hiring (ugh) Mike Sherman, Our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have hired Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt to be their new head coach. The Buzzsaw players can barely contain their excitement....
We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....
Matt Leinart Nurses Ailing Shoulder with Glute Pinching Exercises
Rumors are swirling about Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart's ailing shoulder, and whether or not said shoulder should be put under such duress as it must have been while allegedly throwing Britney Spears all over the place last weekend and playing Redbirds Grabass with many an ususpecti...
Now Boarding The Arizona Cardinals Plane ... Pete Carroll?
Our fearless leader Will Leitch is on vacation for one more day, which means that we can speculate rampantly on the next Arizona Cardinals head coach without fear of nail gun puncture wounds. May we say right at the outset, Steve Mariucci? Ha, that felt good....
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone!
Wouldn't it be slightly hilarious if Denny Green shows up at the Phoenix airport today, and this is the only plane out? Since Mr. Leitch is still on vacation, it's up to us to make sense of this news release from our new friends at US Airways....
A Little Hoops Slip 'N Slide
Far be it from us to deign to understand what it takes to schedule a sporting event, but we would like to suggest that, in the future, basketball games continue to be played indoors....
Nothing More Enraging Than A Buzzsaw Loss
You know, we have to admit, if we were a fan of the St. Louis Rams, or, say, a former USC star who isn't even strong enough right now to make the active roster of the St. Louis Rams, after losing convincingly to the Buzzsaw yesterday, well, we might want to stab someone in the face too....
Jake Plummer Has No Qualms About Doing This Again
Everybody has a cross to bear. Some of us were always picked last in kickball and still harbor resentment about it. Some of us have a lifelong fear of spiders, or horses, or, say, snakes. Some of us become never-nudes. We all have to overcome something....
Today's Episode Of "The Buzzsaw Has No Idea What It's Doing"
Various reports have claimed that Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green will be fired by the team at the end of the season, a move that at this point seems so wholly obvious that it's kind of strange they're waiting until the end of the year. Hey, why wait, ya know? He's already p...
Not Surprisingly, The Buzzsaw Can't Even Do This Right
Last Sunday, during another grueling loss for The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, the halftime show at the University Of Phoenix Stadium intended to honor the late Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan in April 2004, with the retirement of his jersey on the stadium's Ring Of Honor. A spe...
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
The Last Time We're Gonna Talk About This Game
All right, we're gonna talk about this one more time, and then if you bring it up again, we're totally not giving you a cookie....