as Page 2213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
1st Round, Eighth Overall: Ravens Jaguars Select Derrick Harvey
We used to call guys like Harvey "tweeners." Now they're called "hybrids." Scouting gibberish has gone green...
1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...
Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......
Anyone Can Throw A Knuckleball!
We've always thought if there were a mainstream sports breakthrough for a woman, a sport in which a woman could compete on the same field as men, it would be as a knuckleball pitcher in Major League Baseball. It doesn't require strength, and you need to be smart. And not just women can do it: Old me...
Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper R...
Facebook Makes It Easier, And More Difficult, To Cheat In College
We are still somewhat new to the world of Facebook — and we really, really don't want to Facebook chat, and we'd rather not the world know that we bought two tickets to Baby Mama — but if we had access to it when we were in college, we suspect we would have had a different experience. We definitely ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while recovering from spousal carrot-related violence ... • NHL: Second-line wing helps Wings wing Avalanche, 4-3. • MLB: Ah, the lost art of the doubleheader sweep ... not to mention the .028 ERA. Indians 9-2, Royals 6-0. • NBA: Rockets realize it's a best-of-seven deal, begin tryin...
As If The Mavericks Don't Have Enough Problems
From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits a...
Hey! NCAA! Look Over There! Some Guy's Blogging!
You might remember, back in December, when the NCAA unleashed its hilarious rules on live blogging, which included this gem about how often live blogs could be "updated":...
Welcome Back, Pacman; We Await The Rain You Shall Make
So, now that Pacman Jones has joined the Dallas Cowboys, we ask: How will he deal with the changing rules for Dallas-area strip clubs?...
Ken Griffey Jr., Quiet, Slugging Non-Steroid User
Ken Griffey Jr. is three homers away from his 600th, which would make him only the sixth man to reach the lofty plateau. The other five are Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron and ... Sammy Sosa. Sportaphile wonders: Why isn't everybody talking about how amazing a milestone it is?...
Cubs Celebrate Interesting But Ultimately Meaningless Round Number Of Franchise Victories
The Chicago Cubs played their first National League game on on April 25, 1876, less than two months before Custer met his fate at the Little Big Horn. In the former, Albert Spalding threw the first shutout in National League history, 4-0 over the Louisville Grays. In the latter, Crazy Horse earned t...
T.O. Goes After The Dirty.com
Now, there is no longer any doubt that Terrell Owens "accidentally" showed up in a frame of the BangBros. "Spring Break Ass" pictorial, as proven by a curt little letter from his attorney, Alan M. Lerner, obtained by TMZ.com, to TheDirty.com....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending Hitler's birthday party ... • NBA: Mr. Bryant, party of 12; your seat in Round 2 of the playoffs is ready ... Lakers 122, Nuggets 107. • MLB: 10,000-K Run ... Cubs reach milestone win total, and it only took them 107 years. • NFL: Whoever had Dallas in the Pacman Jone...
It's Raining In Dallas...Pacman's A Cowboy
Ed Werder just called from the ESPN Mort phone into Sports Center and said that the Cowboys have worked out a deal to bring Adam "Pacman" Jones to Big D. The Titans have agreed "in principle" to a trade, so we're assuming that means that the components of the deal have yet to be finalized....